Sunday, April 15, 2007

That guy right there, well that's my dad. I was going through the pics in my camera and well, I found this one. Somehow this pic just made me smile. It looks totally shu-weet and it's somehow so chio!

Hurm..Today was pretty much boring cos I couldn't go out. I was actually planning to chill out at Hayley's to just relax and spend some time out of the house. I hate being without my friends cos right now, I'm pretty stressed out. Mainly cos of 'K'. It's like I don't know when's the right time to text him up. There's this strong urge in me to text him up and see how he's doing, but I'm holding it back! No matter how tempting it is to text him up I'm not going to! I have to hold my feelings back now.

For the first time in my life, I'm holding back my feelings. *sigh* What to do right? I'll just have to try and get him outta my mind for awhile and cool off. Try and dim down my hopes cos the chances of me and him being a couple is like so little!! It kills me to even think about it. This is why I hate admire-nesh. It kills me. It takes up every inch of my emotions! I don't need this right now! I don't have time for this.

All I need now is my friends. I feel like crying, but I just can't. I don't want to. It's not worth it. It's not worth crying over something that doesn't even exist! It's just plain stupid to cry over worthless things. *sigh* The smile he gives me just melts me. I need to see him so bad! I wanna meet and talk to him like so bad. I would do anything to get rid of this feeling. ANYTHING !! As one of my friend once said~ "If it was an object I would burn it!"

It's like I see couples everywhere and it just kills me! Where is my perfect one?! *sigh* Normally people would just accept any guy who proposes to them first to get rid of this feeling,but I can't. I don't wanna do that anymore. I'm done with meaningless relationships! I want something that'll last. Something I can treasure and be proud of. I need a guy who I can bring out and meet people. Someone who I won't be ashamed of when I go out. And I'm hoping it's 'K'.

I know him being hot isn't like the most important issue, but I'm guessing it's cos he's different. He aint Bruneian so yeah~ I guess this is something new for me. A new challenge. A fresh start, but one problem, I don't know how he thinks. I don't know what to do. I don't know what he likes. So what I can do right now, is just be myself and see if things go my way. If it doesn't, then I guess I have to let this one go too.

Just now, I went to the tamu along with my parents and they brought my lil bro too. The place was so smoky! Gawd! I swear I felt like running out of that place so bad! sheesh~ tomorrow I got school..sucks..hope i cn go to the mall wit fizah durg.~ so need a ciggiee! well til tomorrow~ ciao

&&im missing you