Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Assessment test..THURSDAY! *PANIC*

Well..there's just 2 more days til my Assessment Test. Everyone is asking about my party. I told my mom to make enquiries at the Polo club already and she did, but she hasn't tell me what the news was. She just changed the subject and chased me upstairs without telling me a single thing. I hate it when she does that. I can't tell my dad either cos I don't even know the price of that place yet. If I tell him, he might blow up and go pull that it's-too-expensive-shit on me.

Well..the Taiwanese visitors aint back yet. My dad just bought the Nintendo Wii yesterday and yeah, it's kind of fun, but quite tiring cos you need to use your energy to play it, especially when you're playing Wii Sports. It's like you can put yourself in real-life situations. Well, not exactly real-life. Sort of like, the animated version of you. Nintendo Wii consists of roleplaying games. You can actually move around and all that. If you still don't know what I'm talking about, go look it up on the internet. If you really don't know what a Nintendo Wii is, let me ask you..don't get offended cos I'm serious here. WHICH CAVE DID YOU CRAWL OUT OF? Have you been like isolated from the modern world?

Lolx. I'm sorry, I just needed to get that outta my system. Gawd..I hope my party turns out well..ouh the pressure!!!! The pressure on having a good party and the pressure of getting good results on my Assessment Test. Yesterday, my phone got confiscated by the councillors during a spot check. At first, I though they didn't see it cos I hid it like on my baju kurung kain, don't ask me how cos I won't tell (DO NOT THINK WRONGLY COS I'LL SMACK YOUR HEAD). When the spot check was over, three of the councillors walked up to me to 'specially check' me. I panicked on the spot! My phone is like my life. I spent the whole day moping around school, worrying about how I was gonna get my phone back and then, I had no choice, so I just called up my dad and told him to type out a letter and bring it to school personally. As usual, he had no time.

He went mental on the phone and not on me thank God, but at the school. Trust me, you do not wanna know what he said. Too 'explicit'. Well instead of my dad, my mom came to school. She came at like almost 1pm and I had to go with her to the main office to collect the phone from the deputy principal, since the discipline master went home early because he had a sore throat that day. BAD IDEA! When the deputy principal went into her office to get my handphone, my ex-Science teacher came out of the staffroom and bumped into my mom. Once she found out that that was my mom, she immediately brought up the topic about me not attending practicals and blah blah blah. The the deputy principal had to bring out my class teacher. Gawd!

They pulled me and my mom into this meeting room where they were lecturing me and informing my mom about what was going on with me in school and my class teacher said that I was doing well in my course work, but my attendance for the practicals isn't enough, so they have to think of an alternative for me. I have no idea what the alternative is, but yeah, I'm willing to take it. Too late to do anything now. My mistake has been done and yeah, I can't go off saying that I don't regret it cos I do, but what can I do right?

Anyways..g2g..ciao..till tomorrow ciao belloz

~ { 6:24 AM }
reflections of you and me;

Friday, August 17, 2007

Night chaos..visitors..stupid teachers.

I didn't get the time to blog last night cos I was busy sitting in the living room and entertaining my Taiwanese relatives. Well they're not really my relatives, it's just that this couple are friends with my grandparents. The husband was the one who brought my grandfather to the hospital in Taiwan when my grandfather had a stroke there. When they first told me that they were gonna be staying over my house, I really didn't like the idea of it, but turns out that it might be alright...yes..cos they have a hot son. Lolx..Well, he isn't hawt hot..just you know, kinda like averagely good-looking.

I'm gonna be stuck at home these few days as my Assessment Test is coming up, so yeah. It might be nice to have some company around. Right now, they're all at my great grandmother's house. Oh Oh..I just received great news. My best friend, Hayley, she broke up with her boyfriend Yusuf! Thank God! Now I just hope that she can be the same ol' Hayley again. The one I knew before all this boyfriend-girlfriend madness. *sigh* They're not back yet!!!..Only my grandmother came back from my great-grandmother's house. Damn it. I wonder where they could be.

I pity that boy..he must be bored to death at this moment lolx. I know how he feels cos I've gone through this before. This is the exact reason why sometimes I hate going over to KL with the family cos I have to visit relatives and hear them talk about stuff I don't know shit about. Old people's stuff y'know? Anyways, my friends suggested that I should have my birthday party at the Polo Club. I don't know, I have to talk this out with my mother and pray to god that noone has booked the place yet. I'm gonna have a VIP section too for my close friends. People I always hang out with.

Here is the list of people who are gonna be on the VIP list. It's not complete yet, but yeah. Here are some of the people who are the VIPs:

Table 1:

Bryant
Richmond
Nicholas
Sharon
Wan Yuri
Fiqah
NuNu
Umi
Azmeena
Ka Erah
gah..make it simple..the people whom I know in TSH.
Hayley
Fizzah

Table 2:

Syirah
Fizah
Zahar
Mira
And they're other close friends.

Ok those are the people I could think of. The rest, I'm not sure yet. If some of you guys aren't chosen to be in the VIP seats then I'm sorry k cos I really need to think this over with my friends too to make them feel comfortable at where they're sitting and who they're sitting with. I hate mess ups, so I really need this to be good. The final VIP list will be posted on my blog by either Tuesday or Wednesday. So, keep checkin out my blog.

This party thing is taking it's toll on me. I'm like so swamped with ideas. I just need a dress, something to swim in and some party clothes I can change into. You don't seriously expect me to be dancing in my dress right? I don't wanna rip it. My mom would kill me cos I'm sure that the dress she's gonna get me will be expensive. Last year my dress cost like $200++ cos it was imported from Australia. This year I wanna get something different. Maybe special-made, so that it'll be unique and made to my exact liking.

I'm being such a total princess now, but yeah, as I have said before...YOU ONLY TURN SWEET 16 ONCE!!!! Peoples puh-lease remember that. (: If only we could all get our driving licences for free. I wonder how that would be like. Getting a new Porche for my 16th birthday. Whooo hooo!! I would be the happiest person on earth. The school would need to build a bigger parking lot as all the students in form 4 and 5 would be driving their own cars to school and everyone would be showing off their rides. God that would be like a dream come true.

In America, being 16 is like being an adult already. You have your car, you have your freedom and whooshhh there you go. HAPPY (: Grr, but here you have to wait til 18. Right now, I just can't wait to turn 16. Who knows right? My parents might finally cut me some slack. But now I just really need to focus on my studies. I need to get good grades to prove to my parents that I really actually deserve this party and that I'm worth every cent they spend on me! Well I AM!!!!!

I will smack you in the head with my Charles & Keith high heels if you disagree with me...lolx..Joking~ I aint THAT psycho~

Anyways, I gotta go now. Gotz to get back to my books~ Esehmen..who the hell am I kidding? lolx. I gotta go take a hot bath and sleep. *yawns* Sleepy~ til tomorrow..ciao darlings

&&when the hell is he coming back home..

~ { 10:15 PM }
reflections of you and me;

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Lovin it..

Excuse the random title up there. I couldn't think of a title. I suddenly feel like blogging. >.<" don't know why, I just feel like blogging. Gawd this stupid Kelly Rowland song just came on. I forgot the title of this song. It's about kids who commit suicide and just threw away their dreams. Come to think of it, I was in a suicidal state when I was 13 years old. I was in my worst state. I think it was a phase every teen has to go through. We're all bound to experience that turning point at some part of our lives. You just have to choose which road you should take. Some people have made decisions they have regret, but let me tell you, I seldom regret my decisions.

Alot of people, even my mom have asked me how I manage to keep myself happy even in the worst situtations. I have thought about the answer for a very long time and the answer is to look at the brighter side of things. Sometimes I do feel like shit, but it'll last probably for like 5 minutes or 24 hours and that's as long as it gets. I have experienced sadness, anger and pain. Trust me it has taken it's toll on me and I have learned alot from my past. Some of you would just scoff and walk away, saying that you have gone through so much more. Ok..you may have, but what I have gone through is MY experience, MY past, so gimme a break here.

Now, I'm just trying to keep myself and my life on track and steer myself away from the wrong decisions. Even if I do make the wrong decision, I learn from it and hey, it's good exposure. You can't just seal yourself in your own tiny world forever. Sooner or later, you have to learn to survive in the world. Especially when you wanna take up business studies or any of the high professions, you have to learn how to survive out there. It's a dog eat dog world out there. When it comes down to the worst, the only person who can solve your problems is yourself. Noone can really understand your problems. Only you understand your own problems and that's why YOU are the best person to solve your own problems. Other people are just there to give you some help, but most of the work has to be done by you.

Right, who am I to tell you what to do right? Well you can think bout it. I have thought long and hard bout what I think and yeah, that was pretty much it. You know, I just realised~ Normally other people's blogs would just contain their daily activites and what has happened to them, but in my blog, it's like I'm writing a story of my life, it's like a real life book. Well the only difference is it's free and it's on the internet~ This blog is like my own private diary. Sometimes I kinda regret doing this whole blogging, exposing my feelings kinda thing, but whereelse can I put all my thoughts and feelings in? A diary? Nyeh~ I'm just to lazy to write.

Ouh I just heard this new song by JoJo. It's called Beautiful Girls. It's kinda like the female verion of Sean Kingston's Beatiful Girls. You should seriously listen to it. It'll give your boyfriend or boyfriend's' a little pinch in the heart *evil grin* Anyways yeah, there's this guy..I like him alot.I aint tellin you his name!!!! *kicks* I don't know, I like him, and I think he likes me back too, but, but..I don't know gah! This is so frustrating.

Oops. i g2g, just remembered,have to go to lunch with my mummy at 12.30...see yuh..will continue tonight. ciao bellos(:

&&WE'LL HAVE YOU SUICIDAL, SUICIDAL WHEN I SAY IT'S OVER!!!

~ { 8:50 PM }
reflections of you and me;

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Gah she got new ciggies!

Today was kinda uneventful~ I went to A-Plus just now to see some friends like I always do and school was pretty much a drag. Ms. Jane wanted to see me just now bout Alay's table. Seems like Jarrod reported the matter to Cikgu Chong a.k.a the discipline master and I think he told Ms. Jane which is totally annoying cos right now I don't really have time for all these kind of shits. Ms. Jane said that Cikgu Chong will call Bryant, Shaun, Richmond and I again. She also said to me that she wants to see my dad. Probably because of my mid-year exam marks. Trust me, they didn't turn out well. I failed probably most of the subjects. I need to try harder for this 2nd Assessment Test. I'm trying really hard to focus on my studies right now.

I have practicals tomorrow at school until 3.30pm and just now when I was at Physics tuition, Ekam messaged me up to go out tomorrow cos he really needed to go out and could only go out til the 25th this month. Gawd! That means he can't go to my party? *gasp* I will cry my eyes out if he can't come to my bday party. He's like my all time lepak partner!!! He's sorta like a brother to me now. Most of the people who have seen him and I out together would always mistake us for a couple. You have no idea how many people have asked us if we were together or not. Our reaction would always be like this, "Ewww..NO!!!!!!" Haha! I know him to well to be in a relationship with him. Yes, most of you might probably be wondering about what's wrong with being with a person whom you know the best of.

My answer is this. The interest would be totally gone! It's like, the mystery between you and that special person is gone and without the mystery, interest is gone. Well you might not have understood that so lemme break it down for you ok? I'll make it as simple as I can here cos I myself have honestly no idea on how to explain this to you guys. For example: Ok..take for instance that you know this guy like really well and you guys have been friends for like the longest time and everywhere he goes, you'll go too. You guys are always seen together. He tells you everything and you tell him everything too. Suddenly, you guys get a lil passionate with each other (DO NOT THINK DIRTY! *slaps*) and during the relationship everything's going well until you find a bump somewhere and the relationship ends. Everyone knows that once you're in a relationship with someone and it suddenly just ends, there's no turning back. Being friends with your ex is not really that easy. Things might get awkward and things will not be the same anymore.

I don't wanna risk any good friendships, unless I think that this guy is like the perfect one for me and that I feel for him in the lovey-dovey way. If not, I'll settle for being friends with that person. I feel that in a relationship, chemistry is most important! Without chemistry, there wouldn't be any passion, attractiveness or romance. It would just be a dull thing you and some other normal person has. You guys won't be able to relate to each other in the relationship and somewhere along the line, either you or that person will suddenly realise that you guys were just meant to be as friends, but by the time either one of you realises that fact, it would be too damn late and the chances of you guys ever patching back as friends would be about 30% possible. Well, that's from my point of view.

Gah..the GPRS is so fucking lagging! Ok, I've said this once before in one of my posts and I'll say it again. I curse alot, so this blog is kinda a PG or +13 kinda thing. Haha! Seriously, I curse too damn much. If I had a dollar for everytime I cursed I would be richer! Haha! Richmond laughed at that phrase when he saw it on my examination pad. If you think that you can't take the cursing then I suggest you exit this webpage before you get a heart attack or high blood pressure and drop dead in front of your laptop, computer, hp, pocket pc ect...ect..~

I'm trying to upload my new photos now into friendster and it's really lagging. It won't be if I were using wireless, but the stupid e-speed connection in my house is having problems right now. I have no idea why my dad just won't fix it! I just wish that the he would find a way to stop the wireless modem from breaking down so fucking often. It's very annoying, especially when Brunet lags the shit outta everything! Gah..I'm so impatient these few days. Maybe it's that time of the month again.

I have no idea what's in store for tomorrow. My plan is to go to school in the morning, stay there for lunch, go for Physics Pracs from 1.15 til 3.15pm then go home and if I have time, then I'll see if I can go out to Gadong with Ekam or not cos if I go tomorrow, I don't think I can go on Saturday. I'm just not in the mood to go to the Mall anymore. Last time I used to be crazy for going there, but now it's like heh~ So boring~ Gah!

Anywayz, i'm so damn tired now..i'll blog again soon k? till next tym..ciao bello (: *I sound like some lame commercial trying to sell airline tickets to people to go to Spain or something with that cheesey airline-stewardess-barbie-doll-fake-plastic-smile which cramps up ur face hahaha!!*

&&run away with me now..HK [= bite machine grrr roar!

~ { 8:15 AM }
reflections of you and me;

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

FINALLY A POST!

Alright...I know I haven't been posting for like the longest time cos I've been really caught up in alot of things lately. Things have been pretty chaotic for me these past few days. It's really taking it's toll on me. My 2nd Assessment Test is coming up in like a week's time and I have to study really really hard or else I'll get some ass whoopin from the rents (parents). My birthday party's in 3 weeks time and I have to start looking for a friggin location to hold it in. My rents think that Empire Hotel's too extravagant for a birthday and I was like, "I ONLY TURN SWEET 16 ONCE YOU KNOW!!!!!"

I have to admit, I was pretty pissed off at first, but hey..location aint everything you know. As long as I capture the right crowd, get a good DJ, make sure everyone's happy and create the right atmosphere then it's all gonna be good. I heard that there's this place at Soon Lee Megamart, the rooftop. I heart from a friend that it's cheap and nice. I'm gonna go get my mom to make some enquiries about that place. I did tell her bout it, but it's like she keeps saying that it isn't a good location cos the area can get pretty quiet at night and it doesn't look safe. Sometimes, the most dangerous places are the safest places to be you know. Right? Agree? *nods* hehehe.

Gah! My leg's all cramped up. It's hurting alot. It's not like the numb kinda cramp. It's the muscle contracting kinda cramp. *screams* PAIN PAIN PAIN! Life's been very stressful for me these past few days. Been having alot of shitty days. I think I have depression~ I remembered that there was this time when my parents went overseas, I was in alot of stress. I cried for 5 nights straight. Social problems would one of the many reasons I cry at night. Secondly would be my PMS. Yes. For the girls out there, you should know what I'm talking about. The stomach cramps, mood swings. They will get to yah so bad.

School pretty much sucks nowadays. I'm starting to pay more attention in my classes now. And it's about time. I decided that I have to quit playing around too much in school and concentrate more on my studies. I have to. I kinda thought about the future and what it would be like one I start running my dad's business and handle a law firm (I'm aiming to be a lawyer). I need to really catch up on my Principles of Accounts (P.O.A) stuff. I suck at that subject. *yawn* I'm sooo damn tired. I need a break from my books mayn~

I can't even go to Gadong much anymore as my 2nd Assessment Test is coming up soon. My parents already warned me that if I go out again they are gonna scream at me and ground me for the rest of my fabulous life. Sucks doesn't it? The problem is I have to get rid of my bad habit, which is 'last minute exam studying'. I can't seem to get rid of that habit. I just can't concentrate on my studies at home. The atmosphere aint right. Studying alone aint fun either. I'm used to memorising stuff and doing my work at either tuition or school. Oh that reminds me! I have Physics tuition tomorrow, but I gotta stay at home the whole afternoon. Or I can go to A-plus and hang out there with my friends. The stupid tuition centre changed my tuition group's schedule, so now I can't see my usual clique at tuition no more.

Worst still, they changed my schedule from every monday and wednesday afternoon to every Sunday morning from 10 til 12.30. I hate waking up early on Sundays. Atleast I get to wake up late during Fridays. I need to go to Gadong like so bad right now. I went to Gadong on Monday cos Apek asked me to hang out with him, so I went there. When I saw him, I was kinda shocked cos he lost alot of weight. No doubt he's still fat, but he lost weight. I asked him if he was on a diet and he said no and made up some excuse saying that he just had no appetite to eat. Pfft~ Yeah right~

Apek's kinda you know, he did move on, but the girl he used to like, likes some other guy. So he went back to liking me. I can't believe it! Why is it when other girls ditch him and tell him that they like someone else, he doesn't get all mental bout it, but when I say that I like some other guy, he gets all depressed and mental about it. He introduced me to his friend 'Rizal' to me online, claiming that Rizal has seen me before and that Rizal likes me alot. I have no idea how true that is cos I have never met this so-called friend of his before and it seems pretty obvious that it's Apek who's posing to be Rizal. I can bet that there isn't even a Rizal! The way they chat and type is sooo alike! It's so obvious. I tried calling him, but he said that his phone was broken and all that crap. On MSN, only when Apek goes offline then Rizal goes online. How stupid does Apek think I am anyways? IM SO OFFENDED! *kicks*

Anywayz...I'm like so sleepy now so i g2g to bed. til tomorrow. tata~ (:

&&IM NOT RETARDED..YOU ARE!

~ { 8:07 AM }
reflections of you and me;