Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Chinese New Year!!!

Damn I just got home....just got my hair done. Its like 9.33pm already and I just got home. I'm friggin exhausted right now. I only slept for like 2 hours last night. Maybe less I think. I went to sleep at 5am then woke up around 7.50am. I don't know what's gotten into my body. I was sitting in the saloon just now wanting to faint cos its so damn stuffy in there and my eyes felt like they were gonna pop out.

But its all worth it. Gotta look good for Chinese New Year hehe. Having open house, so I'm guessing that its gonna be as hectic as last year. First day is always the worst. Everyone running around the house screaming for drinks and food. Loads of people waiting outside the gate. If you're not used to seeing that, it can seem pretty scary haha. I personally find it frustrating cos my parents are gonna be all grumpy cos of the stress of it all. I will be left to following orders and entertaining all the guests when needed.

But doesn't it get annoying though when you bump into those so-called 'uncles' and 'aunties' who have seen you like just a few months ago, then suddenly say things like: "Wah! So big already ah...Big girl already ah.." or "Why you so tall now? Last time saw you, still very small leh" and the most aggrivating one...(usually asked by the nosey ones) "So how's your results ah? Do you think you'll pass? Where you planning to go to school?....."<------trust me this one will NEVER end. It will feel like forever.

Why the hell would they need to ask things like that?? Annoys the crap outta me sometimes. Seriously....its like a snakepit among my family and relatives. Everyone fighting for territory, trying to sabotage one another with gossips and such. It gets very annoying especially cos they always make me their main target. So what if I didn't get into Maktab Sains? So what if I'm not 'their type' of person? Their kids wanna stay at home and bury their faces in their books, its their own problem. I don't like staying at home and I hate keeping my face in between my books all the time.

Atleast I'm street smart and book smart. Its all in the balance. :) Oh well, I was born into this family so I guess I'm gonna have to just suck it up and stop being a baby. Like I always do.

I really hope this year's Chinese New Year will be a good one though. I haven't really bought all my clothes yet, but I'll buy them soon. All I need right now is a good manicure. Thinking of getting gel extensions. My mom knows this really good manicurist who does home service. Problem is, how am I supposed to take it off? I googled it and it said to soak it in acetone. Well there's two types. The normal nail polish remover which is acetone mixed with some other chemicals and the pure acetone one, which is used to remove gail extensions.

My mom said she did it before and she said that it took her ages to look for someone who could actually take it off for her cos she tried looking for the same manicurist again, but she was always busy with other clients. My mom went all over to search for a nail parlour which provides this service, but none of them, not even Nail Artz had the remover thingy. I mean....its kinda ridiculous....NAIL ARTZ....name says it all, but service? Nyeh...not really good.

They handled my nails very roughly. For those who have done manicures before, you should know that there's always the part where they use this rough thing and sort of polish your nails so they look nice and shiny right? She used it and fucking cut my cuticle. It was quite deep, very very painful also. It was actually bleeding and she didn't even apologize. She just said that my cuticles were very dry and I needed treatment. I think it was like $60 or something. Bitchy....never going back there ever. Rather go to my mom's. Gentler handling....

They don't even provide full nail service there. Nail arts now consist of acrylic or gel extension. They should have that. I would pay alot for that cos gel extensions are popular in Singapore and Japan and Taiwan as well....all the Japanese-influenced countries. They look really good too. Unfortunately all they do is draw on your nails and stick stones on them which cost a fortune. I give props to them though cos they can use their creativity to create a new design for you, but still....more training needed I guess.

Just a mild reminder, whoever who owns Nail Artz or is associated with them, please excuse the insults. Not defamation...Its ranting. I need to rant! Haha Anyways...I think I'm gonna get my nails done on Thursday and I shall go to bed now cos I'm sleepy as hell. So nights peoples!!! Ciao bello

&&157....he is perfection

~ { 5:33 AM }
reflections of you and me;

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Major Boredom and Rants?

Hello Readersss! :) I'm so bored right now. Just woke up at like 7 plus in the evening just now. Was really tired. Had a mild case of food poisoning earlier, so loss of water plus bad tummy ache=passing out. I can't believe O level results are coming out soon. I really hope I pass cos the amount of cash I spent during my holidays, I better pass or I'm sure as hell not gonna see the outside world for quite some time. Hopefully if *touch wood* ok never mind...I'm not even gonna say it.

Hopefully my parents will be a bit more understanding. Boyfriend's not gonna go to college next year I guess. Seeing as though he missed like one of his exams this year, he decided that collge wasn't for him and I do respect his decision. College isn't for everybody...not if you live in Brunei. haha. I've had loads of friends who got work just with their O level results. As long as you have 3 O's, then you're all good. He's gonna look for a job I guess, don't know where yet.

I just realised my ciggies are almost kaput again...Hate the task of buying them now...I know I should really quit, but you guys should know that you can't quit straight away right? Atleast I'm already cutting down on them. I still remember, some retard once told me that it's bullshit to say that you'll die earlier if you quit cold-turkey style,meaning no ciggies at all. Well its a damn fact. If you quit just like that as in completely cut off your cigarettes, you're more likely to get cancer and other diseases. It wont show in a month or that soon, but give it like 8 months or so and the effects will show. Breathing will start to hurt your chest, stamina will be lost and things like that.

Its cos your body has already adapted to the nicotine in the cigarettes, and the lack of nicotine in your body just makes your body go haywire. Its like rehab, but no medical help. That's why some people get nicotine gum or patches, so whenever you have an urge to seriously smoke, put the patch on or chew the gum. My uncle has the gum, but I've never tried it. Bet it tastes like normal gum though, I don't really know.

In Singapore they do have smoking consultations and all that By now most of you will have questioned me on why I can't just get myself a nicotine patch or gum. Well my answer is, I don't know the side effects yet. I can't just get it from a pharmacy. I trust doctors in hospitals and clinics more than the ones in pharmacies actually. Its just me. And plus, I don't think they'll just simply give me the nicotine patches and gums. I'm under 18 for god's sake. In their head, I'm not even supposed to be smoking. Well thank Brunei then.

Singapore's kinda strict on the whole smoking thing, they've actually raised prices on the cigarettes. In Brunei, Marlboro is only $3.10, Singapore.....$11.50~ Ridiculous I know, but that's what you get for being a smoker I guess. Government just sucks up your cash. Since the economy crisis, everything became more expensive. Jobs are no longer an easy thing to keep nor find. Even in the newspaper, its said that people in Singapore mostly visit psychiatrists or therapists. That is how stressful life is for them now. Even the electricity, water and oil prices have gone up.

My grandparents live in Singapore, so I've heard them talk about the rising in prices. Its seriously rediculous the way people manage things here now. Even when you buy a simple thing like chicken rice, the amount of rice is so much, but the amout of chicken meat is so little. If you want more meat, you gotta pay an extra amount which is usually not cheap either. Living in HDB flats here is already considered lucky cos they're not cheap either. But oh well, small country, BIG population and that's what happens.

My day today was uneventful. Didn't have anything to do. Stayed home the whole day. I've been sleeping really late these few days. Messaging with Azmi and surfing the net. I plan to start new this year, change the way I look at my responsibilities. First, I really need to get my parents to treat me like an adult. That way I can start accepting my responsibilites. I'm turning 18 for crying out loud. I can't keep living by their rules. I need to live life on my own now, start taking off the training wheels. I know I messed up once, but hey..mistakes happen so you can learn from them.

I just tried my new Maybelline gel liner and let me tell you, its really really good. It seriously doesn't smudge and its completely waterproof so if you're out the whole day or working, you wont end up with racoon eyes at the end of the day. Its in a small pot. I would put up the picture, but I don't have my camera with me right now. To apply it, you have to use this brush which comes with the small pot of eyeliner. It just glides smoothly across your eyelids when you apply it. There's the mascara also, which works really well too, but I shall stop talking about this haha. Its just me overtyping~

My body's clock is just going haywire. I'm still in 'Italy' time. Maybe I should move there...I mean, not counting the pickpockets, everything is good. Beautiful sceneries and people, good food and ALOT of shopping. Switzerland aint bad either, its more to the serene, peaceful kind of environment. The country where some of the most expensive watches were made. People usually travel there to buy watches for either luxury or investment. Can you believe it? Watches can actually be used for investments.

Fact is the prices of a good watch, like Rolex, Tag Heuer or Breitling, go up by around 10% every year. That's what they told us, and frankly speaking I kind of agree with them too. Its like antique stuff. Wasn't that valuable in the past, but as you can't find it anywhere anymore at this time and age, collectors will pay alot and I mean ALOT of money to pay for these things. Same goes for watches I guess. I got myself a few watches there also. Watches there are usually much cheaper and are Swiss made, meaning, you can't find them anywhere else in the world other than Switzerland itself.

In Italy though, shopping is meant for branded goods like Gucci, Salvatore Ferragamo, Versace and stuff like that. Brands which are actually from Italy. Other brands will do just as well too as Milan, Italy is famous for its fashion and stuff, but its more worth it to buy Gucci or Louis Vuitton or Prada there cos their collections are all of the latest ones, some of which you can't find anywhere else in the world yet. I know by now, I may seem like I have expensive taste and shit, but I really can't help it but to be interested in all these things. The designs there are just out of this world. I got myself this beautiful piece from Gucci. FIRST ever Gucci bag. Very Very Very happy I actually got it! Haha.

Initially I wanted this other bag from Gucci's Tattoo Heart collection, but I figured, why not buy one which isn't out in stores yet. Azmi saw it and he actually taught me how to tell if a bag is fake or not. Its simple actually, but there are alot of ways, so I really don't wanna type it all down~

I'm planning to buy a new wallet soon. Possibly one from like Billabong or something. I don't wanna be covered in branded shit. Its kinda tacky to do that. I don't know...I mean you can buy them, but I prefer putting them on my body in moderation, or it will really look as if you're trying too hard. Not a model nor a superstar so don't.

What I realised though is that, most people I've seen along the streets, carry fake shit and it sometimes get on my nerves how tacky it looks. I mean, you CAN buy them, but why can't buy the ones that actually look atleast a little bit real? The tacky ones make the real ones look really bad. It sometimes makes those who are carrying the actual authentic bags or purses, get mistaken for carrying fake ones. Its fucking annoying really.

For those who usually judge without even thinking, they'll sometimes mistake a fake one for the authentic one and vice versa which irritates the shit outta me. If you have no knowledge in judging shit, then just don't do it and shut up. I've hung out with people like that before and its so tempting to correct them, but I'll just shut up. Don't really like drama.

My mom's been bugging me to get braces and I really don't know if I should or not. It seems like a painful process. Food gets stuck in your teeth...You can't kiss well...It hurts...Have to make regular trips to the dentist and if it suits your face, then good for you, but if it doesn't you might end up looking like Ugly Betty with a big fat sign on your forehead saying 'Metal Mouth'.

I've recently started reading the novel of the ever famous movie, Twilight. The starting doesn't really catch my attention. I don't know about the rest of it though. Anyways, I'll end it here. Watching Hannibal on tv. Gotta love it haha. Til thenn...ciao bello

&&keep waitin love..keep waiting

~ { 4:13 AM }
reflections of you and me;

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

cant get over u - Secret

That's my ultimate heartbreak song. Seriously, you want heartbreaking songs?? Search for Martin Kember on Imeem. I swear he has so many heartbreak songs that I really don't think he's ever had a perfect relationship. Weird~

Well I'm really bored right now. Have nothing to do still. I slept at like 8 just now in the morning. Yes I couldn't sleep the whole night and I still can't believe that I actually thought today was Thursday. I was really really looking forward to Thursday and yes there's ofcourse a reason for it, which I will not disclose yet. Imagine my dissapointment when someone online decided to 'enlighten' me. I didn't believe it til I turned on the tv and saw the date.

Oh well...Its just one more day~ And my ciggies are almost kaput. I really need one right now so badddd. Its a craving thing. I don't think people know that I've actually changed my blog address haha. Oh well, they'll know it soon somehow. It's approximately 29 and a half hours til the time of Thursday that I'm so impatiently waiting for. Don't worry peoples, I'll blog about it soon in a post.

*sigh* how time flies huh. Its finlly 2009. Its a new start for a lot of people, and for some, maybe just another plain year to get older. For me, its a chance for change and to leave bad memories behind. 2008 was kind of a sucky year. I'm hoping that 2009 would change it. Year of the Cow. Hmm...should buy one of those astrology or those chinese feng shui books. Haha I know some of yall think its stupid to believe those things, but hey, its not like I follow it or trust it completely. Its more like a precaution..or guideline perhaps.

Oh talking about pasts, I still remember alot of my dramas actually. See, thing bout me is, I really don't forget things or people easily. It can be a curse sometimes cos I can't forget the bad memories either. There are quite a number of things I actually wanna forget in life, but no matter what I do, they will never go away. Even my boyfriend has this issue as well. But we all have to get over these issues someday. Eventhough if we can't forget it, atleast be over it. Take it as a lesson learnt. Shit, life is all bout bumps. All we gotta do is get through em.

Without the mistakes, how could we ever learn from them? And I've heard before time and time again that living is just the beginning of everything. Oye my autosaved just failed so lets just hope my connection doesn't screw up cos I would lose this whole post. What the hell is wrong with it. Anyways, yeah...life's too damn short to go round being sad and stuff. We should be enjoying it, chasing after our dreams.

I just don't get how some people start hating life and saying that its just plain suffering and its hard just to live. Well if everything was all perfect then life would be boring as hell. There was a period of time where I actually asked for a normal life without any drama and issues. It happened, I got what I wanted, but damn I was bored out of my damn mind. I felt like my life just had no meaning at all. Like I wasn't doing anything with it. The same old routine everyday can get boring real fast. I hate change, but little changes are good at times.

I've had people come up to me saying that they wanna kill themselves just cos of a simple problem that could've been solved by the help of the people around them or by themselves even. Its really stupid to throw away your life just like that for something so simple that you could've overcome. I understand where some people are coming from though. Some problems are just too complicated to solve and it'll take a long ass time. But hey, once you get it solved, the feeling of satisfaction is heaven.

Enemies of last year, some have become friends with me now and we've settled our differences and worked things out, some are still one of the many people who hate me, but hey...that's life. Not everyone will like you. I don't really pay them no mind. They wanna hate then they can waste their lifetime hating. This year I shall aim to hold down the drama and handle things with a much more different approach, but ofcourse if things get outta hand then I will have to unleash the angry part of me and everyone knows that it aint good. Especially my close friends, they know me.

Yay its finally thursday already. 6.17am. Haha I'm blogging early in the morning. Can't sleep. My clock's been rewinded it seems. Anyways, I'll get my butt to bed and end this post here. Ciao bello

&&thursday how I've waited...dear god pls make it really close to perfect...

~ { 2:21 PM }
reflections of you and me;

Sunday, January 04, 2009

2009 n I'm BACK! (:

Look out world, its 2009. Shit, time passes by so quickly. My New Year's was not that good, not really gonna go into detail cos I'm just too tired to blog so much right now. Slept at 6 in the morning and woke up at 8. Seriously I don't know how I do it. At home, you can't wake me up for shit if I slept for 2 hours only and even if you did, I would wanna go back to bed again. Now it's completely different. Its like my body just said no to extra sleep. I have no idea how the hell it happened...

My whole holiday was pretty much mediocre. Once again I won't go into detail. I realised I haven't blogged for so long and decided to blog now. There's not much I wanna blog about right now other than the fact that it is scorching hot down here. I'm sweating my brains out!

I recently talked to a friend about her issues and it kinda made me raise an eyebrow and think. The situation goes like this. *real names have been replaced to protect his/her privacy*:

Well , it kinda started when Nad hung with these two guys, Shaf and Addy last...two weeks I think. She told me the whole story after she hung out with them. Both these guys are kinda...well you can call them players, but I prefer the term 'romantically confused'. Both of em, I do know and have hung out with as well, so I kinda know the way they roll.

Shaf is more of the 'I'm frontin like I got game, but I actually do have feelings' type and Addy's more to the 'I really don't know what I'm looking for, so I'll just go for everything' type. Either way it just sucks. Shaf's supposedly close friends with Nad, but Addy just got to know her. Her's 'heard' about her I guess, but has never really met her before.

Well they all hung out and what she told me was Addy got a little too close to her. He started to brush up on her and tried to walk close to her and you know, those kind of corny stunts guys pull sometimes. I personally think its kinda cute in a puppydog sorta way, but anyways...~

Both of us thought it was a one time thing considering the fact that he was actually a player. It's really not hard to believe actually. But yeah, he has a girlfriend mind you. So I told her to butt out. And she actually did, til he started to text her through MSN. He then started to text her, and actually confessing to being her stalker. I know its weird, but we all make stupid comments sometimes. (:

Now he's saying that he likes her and all that. I mean its fine if he likes her, not saying that its wrong or anything cos the heard wants what the heart wants right? But seriously, its really not fair to pull someone into your drama. He has a girl, what if she finds out about his crush on Nad?

See this is where I start to think. She asked me for a solution and all I can possibly give her is to keep her distance til he calms his dog-ass down and think. Seriously, he has messed up so many relationships and I really don't know how long his so-called 'streak' will last. Everybody who reads this blog should understand what I went through in 2007 after I realised that my 'playgirl ways' were stupid.

Unfortunately for him.....karma's taking its on sweet time on his cheatin ass. The longer karma waits, the more pain it'll give you in the future. Seriously I thought he changed and kinda hoped that he would cos I don't want him going through half the shit I went through, but hey...he's an adult. He'll take the consequences.....hopefully~~

He just hasn't found the one yet I guess. That's why he's so confused. Different people deal with their confusion in different ways and that's ofcourse a known fact. So he deals with it in his own way. By wandering around and trying different types of girls, but what he doesn't know is, by doing this....you won't even know that you've found the one yet til you actually lose that person because of YOUR mistake.

See now that's the consequence to these flava-tasters. They won't know what good a companion they've got til they actually lose that person and when they do, there's gonna be only a 30% chance that they're gonna get them back and 2nd time relationships are not easy, trust me. Take it from someone who's been through it. Trust is like a precious vase. Once shattered, even though you patch or stick the pieces back together, there's still gonna be cracks and small missing pieces. It'll take a really long time to actually patch things back together again and rebuild that trust. And the relationship won't be the same anymore, but that's the price you have to pay. Its a take it or leave it situation.

But hey...he's got his own decision to make don't we all? ;) I've made mine and I'm happy with it. I do miss my old ways sometimes cos they used to be fun, but its really not worth it. To lose a potential life partner? Pfft. Never lose the good things and I'm sticking to that motto. A commited relationship aint easy, but honestly tell me, in life...what's easy? Nothing is. It may seem easy at first, but as it goes towards the climax moment, it isn't gonna be that way anymore.

At first, I used to think that going out all the time and not being commited was an easy thing to do and that it would be pure fun, but yeah, as it went towards the ending, the so-called climax moment, it turned out the wrong way. Not the way I planned it would end up like. At that moment I realised that life is not always like you planned. My parents recently talked about how us teenagers nowadays have everything planned out for us by our own folks. I thought to myself, why the hell would we wanna go through life their way when we could do it our way?

We should be able to live our life the way we want to live it. It is ours right? I mean, we all have our own rights, right? If we don't wanna do this, then we won't. They can't just plan everything ahead and not keep us in the loop then turn right around and simply tell us to just walk their route blindly. They can guide us...but there's a limitation to everything. How I wish they could just hear my thoughts sometimes, maybe then they wouldn't see me as what they see me now.

Anyways, I've said enough (: Oh btw readers, whatever blabber you see on this blog, please don't take it to heart and you don't have to follow any of this. It's really based on my opinions and my point of view. You don't have to agree with everything. Any of your opinions matter as well too so please please feel free to drop them onto the cbox.

Oh oH oH!! To all of my friends, and ex form 5 SAS seniors, pls pls pls keep in contact. God I'll miss you guys :( Some of you who are going overseas take careeee!! AND HAPPY NEW YEAR (:

ciao bello

&&2009 1 yr 8 months and counting

1 l0v3 y0u MD.NORAZMI

P.S:Sorry for the stupid spacing at the first few paragraphs. Technical difficulties...go figure~

~ { 9:06 PM }
reflections of you and me;