Friday, June 22, 2007

Bought new stuff (: Ugh falling..admire-nesh..i think~

Kisshhh broooo

Gah! jan ko lari!!!

still running~

Gah! Why isn't Fadh online! Damn it, I missed out on shopping just to chat to him online. Ugh~ Why the hell am I fussing over him anyways? *sigh* Admire-nesh~ Noooo!!!! I can't let it get to me again cos nothing good ever comes out from this feeling. NOTHING!!!! That is why I really hate this feeling~ Shopping wasa great just now. I bought a few things. Bought the pair of Ecko shoes I saw at Skechers hehe. Gonna post up a few pics of the stuff I bought in awhile. And I'm gonna show you guys the pics I took of my baby bro and I when I was like all alone with him in the hotel room.

Gawd I was thinking of buying this really cool looking bag along with all the key chains and whatever, but my parents said that they weren't worth buying, so I was like ok whatever. I could see that my mom was unhappy today cos I spent alot. Now I'm like typing out this post in the bathroom. My mom wasa forcing me to change into my robe and get to bed, but I had to finish up this blog first. She's really getting on my nerves and I already told her off just now at the restaurant. I told you that I was gonna make a big scene right? I didn't really make a big scene, but I just showed her my temper. She told me to stop eating and look after my baby bro when my dad had clearly finished his dinner already, so I threw the clay spoon onto the plate and stormed out of the restaurant.

My mom just sat there and said nothing and my dad ended up calling me on my cellphone telling me to meet him at the hotel. So I did. I went to the hotel lobby and he started to talk to me about the whole me and my mom conflict issue. I just told him that i couldn't take it anymore and ever since the trip started she has been making the trip a living hell for me! He told me that he understood my situation, but no matter what, she's still my mother and I still have to respect her. Oh ffs (for f*ck's sake)!!! Respect?! HE WANTS ME TO RESPECT HER?! My gawd! She's impossible!! I would respect her and I know that she's my mom and everything, but with the way she's been treating me these past few days, I find it impossible for me to respect her and her stupid decisions.

Like just now when my family and I went to the Mid-valley Megamall to do some shopping, she only concentrated on my buying toys, clothes and shoes for my baby bro. I was like wtf??!! *##$$**%!!!!!!!!!

GAHH!!! I need to go shopping too you know! Ugh~ Atleast I got some of the stuff I wanted and I got these really cool keychains for 3 of my fwens. I need to go and get some nice chocolates for Syirah tomorrow and look for Bryant's CD. I couldn't find any Paul Frank shops here, so I guess I'll just look for his CD, but the prob is I can't find the CD anywhere. Fadh agreed to go to the upcoming Sunday Splash with me at Empire!! I was sooo happy~ You should've seen the smile and glow on my face. It's like we haven't really hung out before and all, so yeah. I guess this upcoming Sunday Splash's gonna be kinda interesting. Fadh told me that he was gonna throw me into the pool and I was like don't you dare and he said, "I will not...*next line*...not throw you into the pool." My expression went from (: to >.<" then to .(-.-). Annoying~ but funny.

Turns out that there's a funny side of him too and it's pretty adorable actually~ Well that's the good news. The bad news is, Azmi's cough is getting worse cos he said that the rib cage punctured his lung again and this time it's getting worse. His parents think it's cos of drugs and they're thinking of sending him to rehab! I was like NOOOO!!! Rehab is hell! And he aint even addicted to drugs and alcohol no more! He said that his parents are thinking of sending him there cos they said that his attitude is getting 'worse'. I was like wtf?! He's actually getting better and they said that he's getting worse?! Parents...You can never satisfy em. Tre Annoying~ I checked it out on the net and apparently it's like a rehab facility slash detention centre kind of thing. They work on your attitude and morale too. That is making things so much worse. Shouldn't have checked it out. *smacks own head* DOI!!!

Now it's raining! Wait..RAIN!! I love the rain~ Well I used to, til now. It's making me miss Azmi even more. Seems like now I have 2 people in my heart. Azmi and Fadh. Who should I choose? The newcomer or the one I have now? Should I give this new one a try or should I just stick with the old one til I'm really sure that I should go for the new one? Gah! I just don't know!

*sigh* Fadh's not going online. This always happens and I hate it. I'm in no mood to post right now, so I'll just put up some pics olryt? I'll blog again later if I'm in a good mood.

Pencil case from Miss Whatever

White skull earrings from Miss Whatever

Silver earrings from Miss Whatever

Ecko Shoe (FRONT VIEW)

Ecko shoe (side view)

ecko shoes (side view)

&& sorie for the shitty post...too tired n moodless..

~ { 7:13 AM }
reflections of you and me;

Thursday, June 21, 2007

First day in KL HELL!! Cnt wait for mi daddy 2 b hea ):

*sigh* So sick of my mom. Just now was the final straw! I couldn't take it anymore. She wouldn't buy anything for me. Going shopping with her is just no fun. She keeps pissing me off, so I just walked out on her. I took the room key from my grandpa and just went back to the hotel myself. I'm staying at the Boulevard Hotel which is just beside the Mid-Valley Megamall which is like my most favoured shopping area. It's like I can find everything I want and need there. Should have just saved up my time in Singapore and just do my shopping here cos now's the sales season here in KL. My mom's just not willing to spend money on me cos in the end there'll be none left for her. Selfish right? Some of you may be asking on how I know that she doesn't wanna spend it on me and is doing it for my own good. Well lemme answer your question. She tells my grandmother almost everything so it's really easy to know what she says about me behind my back cos nobody's on her side!

She thinks that my grandma is taking her side, but in fact she's taking mine. Even her own mother and father can't even stand her! Well not only them, the whole family actually. Ugh she always thinks that she's like this fabulous mother, but in fact she's being a terrible one! Just now when we were still at the airport in Singapore, she just went off shopping by herself and left me behind! She just walked off and pretended that I wasn't there. It's like now I don't even feel like I'm her daughter! How insane is that?! It's like I hate her and she hates me. At a point of time she went for this stupid course and she did however change, but she just went back to her same ol' self awhile later, so there was really no point in her attending the damn course and it's a waste of her money! What she needs is a psychiatrist cos she's flippin psycho! She's like that lady in the movie Desperate Housewife. For those of you who watches it, the character I'm talking about is Bree!! My mom's just like her. Just can't stand her! She wants everything to be her way. Well sor-ry, I'm not letting anyone step on me like a fucking doormat! Especially not by her.

Ever since we got to Singapore, she has just been putting up this stupid attitude like she's a really nice person and blah to the blah blah. 4 letters: F-A-K-E!! She's always good at faking her attitude, emotions and all, but I can see right through her! To me, she's so~ transparent. Eventhough she tells me that she does everything for my own good, I know that it's not true. I know her very well. Duh! She's my mom for god's sake. I know her better than anyone else, well except for my grandma. She knows my mom better than anyone else. Even when my mom lies to her, she knows. Gawd this just annoys the hell outta me. I just can't wait for my dad to reach here. He told my mom that he'll reach here at bout midnight I think. This room gives me the fucking creeps! I told Azmi to call me just now and he did. I couldn't talk long cos it's like $1 per minute for me if he calls me and I'm overseas. Now I honestly regret overusing the prima line. Now it's blocked and I can't talk to Azmi for long anymore and it's just bloody annoying! I just don't get what's taking him so effin long to just get online!

*sigh* My first day in KL is obviously not going as well as I though it would go. Well, atleast the hotel's nice and I can go online with their free wireless network. All I have to do is just make sure that I don't lose the password and username that I wrote down for the wireless network cos to use the wireless network I need to key in some username and password. When the hell are they gonna come back. I mean my grandparents ofcourse. I don't bloody care if my mom comes back or not. I just want my grandparetns and lil bro back here, so atleast it won't be so damn quiet here. I only have the sound of the telivision for sound. Well, I can actually turn on my ipod and use the new ipod speaker I bought from the airport just now, but my mom locked it inside her luggage, how typical of her. I bought this new Dior lipgloss from the airport too just now. Dior Ultra-Shine Gloss. At first I chose the pink colour gloss, but the promoter suggested that I took the other colour, so atleast I have some colour on my lips cos the pink won't show off any colour. Once I spread it on my lips, it'll be transparent, so I took her advice and took the other shade of pink, which is also glossy and shiny, but the only difference is you can actually see the colour and it's more of a metallic pink and the other one was a glittery light pink.

I really miss Brunei a whole lot. RQ's having a gathering at the beach this Sunday and I won't be able to make it huhuhu *cries* cos I'll still be in Singapore at that time, stuck with the family. *sniff*sniff* It's not fair that I have to miss it. I just joined RQ and is supposed to go for the gathering to know the rest of the people in RQ. In case you guys don't know what RQ stands for, it stands for Ridin Queenz. It's the female version of Ridin Brotherz. Apek invited me to join the group a few weeks ago, but I wasn't so sure if I was in the group yet or not, so yeah. Can you believe it? His cousin just tried to pick up a fight with me like a few days ago, saying that she's taking revenge and blah to the blah blah~ She said, "I'm taking revenge on Apek's behalf." Ouh how dramatic. Ugh..fuh-reak. I respect Apek like my bro angkat, so I didn't wanna pick a fight with her. She acted like she knew me so well and she told Apek that he was too blind to see that I'm just using him cos when I have no friends then I look for him for company and when I have friends, I act like I'm forced to layan him. How bloody ridiculous is that? She called me a queen bitch. Immature-much!!

Who the hell uses the term 'queen bitch' anymore?! Well, maybe 10 yr olds who are just starting to learn how to curse, but not a fucking 20+ yr old lady. She practically tried to say that I'm a two-faced kind of person. For god's sake. Puh-lease man!! I'm not that pathetic alright. Maybe in the past, but I grow up you know. Grown people who are mature enough to think don't stab people in the back or have two faces cos I've grown to realise that stabbing people from the front hurts them even more worse than stabbing them from the back. Hey, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that it's right to stab people in the back nor from the back. What I'm trying to say is, only immature people do all these stupid things.

She claims that I hurt Apek on purpose. Gah! People like these really annoy me alot. TO THE MAXIMUM!!! She acts like she knows everything bout me, but in fact, she doesn't know shit about me! How effin stupid is that? I told her to go get her facts straightened out first and told her that she has no right to judge me as she doesn't know shit bout me. When I said that I didn't wanna fight with her and that it would be pointless to keep dissing me when I won't even give her a respond, she ended up why I didn't wanna fight with her and she assumed that I was scared. I was laughing at the PC when I saw what she sent me. Scared? Why the hell would I be scared of her? She told me that if I ever hurt Apek in anyway ever again she would come down to Brunei and meet me up. I was like roigghhtt~ whatever~ I'm used to people screaming at me and if she wants to hit me then go right ahead whoop di fucking doo~ i know I'm innocent cos I never meant to hurt Apek in any way. Would she rather I tell him I love him when I don't and pretend to love him just cos I was forced to? Then end up breaking up with him by telling that I was faking it all from the beginning?

That would hurt him much more! I was just being honest. I couldn't lie to him. She keeps saying that I don't wanna be with him just cos he's fat and ugly. I was like, "Girl I am not that shallow ok!" Ok, fine..his outer looks may not be the most eye-pleasing thing, but please man...That's not the only reason! There was no sparks between Apek and I! Eventhough if he felt it, I didn't. I tried ok..I tried! I gave it a shot when we were in the cinema together watching Shrek 3 with Hary, Nurul and Farah. I let him hold my hand and kiss me on the cheek. I figured that what the hell, might as well give it a shot right? But seriously there wasn't a single spark in sight!! I gave him a chance, that one chance and it didn't work. When I know something won't work, trust me it just won't. Love is not only through seeing personality matches. There must be some chemistry there too. Without the chemistry and the sparks, it just won't work.

Gah! Until know, he just won't let it go. He did tell me something bout him taking advantage of me and it's like I don't even care or something, ugh I don't even know what he was talking about. I talked to my teddy bout it and he said that I should just ignore for awhile and let things chill off first. (In case some of you think I'm talking about a stuffed toy I'm not. I call one of my friends teddy. I don't talk to teddy bears ok! I'm not THAT psycho you know.) I just don't wanna break his heart. Nada me sampai ati ok!! Eventhough he sometimes annoy me, I still don't wanna hurt him. To me he's like a close buddy of mine so yeah, I can't bear to see him hurt. That's why whenever he tells me that I hurt him or something I'll feel really bad. *sigh* Let's just skip this topic cos it's so ruining my mood right now.

God..Fadhli's back again. The guy I used to like last time when I was with my ex. Fadh and I were kinda like this affair behind my ex. We kept our thing secret. I used to always text him up and call him up last time until we got into this stupid arguement and ended up not contacting each other for quite some time. Then now, we just started talking again. Either he decided to unblock me or something or he just deicided to start MSN-ing again. Then now we're like chatting away like we used to do. Only now, less touchy2 and more to the friendly get-to-know-you-better side. He's single now cos he just broke up with his ex and turns out that his player side has changed. Now Fadh and I chat til like late into the night til either one of us gets like really tired and decides to go sleep or something. At this point you may be asking yourself like, "So? What's so bad bout that?" Remember the liking him part? Am I gonna make the same mistake again? Am I gonna fall for his tricks again? Cos I really don't wanna fall for it the second time.

*sigh* who knows what'll happen right? well this is it for tonite. will blog again tomorrow (: ciao bello<3

&&I make him go lol lol lol!<3

~ { 6:03 AM }
reflections of you and me;

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

NEW BIKINI LOOKS GREAT!

Hey..feeling kinda shitty today~ Don't really know why. I guess it's my mood swings or whatever. Didn't get to blog yesterday cos my cousins were doing something on the pc,don't really know what they were doing,but I have an idea. *evil grin* nyeh~ I had to bargain my way to some pc time today to post up my blog entry. Fai's still grumbling his way out the door. I don't really care cos I won this pc fair and square! (: My mom and I went shopping again yesterday afternoon and I went and did my hair. It turned out great! It's shorter now, but looks great! I had dark violet highlights and I think they coloured my hair abit too. I had to sit through it for like 2 hours and it was torture! Thank God they had magazines and some cute Caucassian guys went and did their hair too, so atleast I had something to look at and something to read.

After I did my hair, I went to dinner with my mom at Swensens. I had the steak and she had a salad. I thought the salad was going to be like a small portion, but it turned out to be so gigantic! I think it could've fed two people, but surprisingly my mom finished it all byherself! She never eats much, so it was kinda a surprise for me. After dinner, we went back to Isetan and I got myself this white bikini with black prints on it. It was like a tribal design. I'm not really into tribal designs, but the bikini looked so good on me! It costs like $84, but beauty costs right? And it's not like I'm gonna buy another one anytime time soon. Well..maybe just one more, but just one more!

I got myself a pair of swimming shorts too from OP and they were so-so, but I'll make em work. I wanted to buy myself these really nice pair of flip flops, but my mom won't get them for me. She always says that I overshop. Ugh! She herself wants the money, so why can't she just say that? She's so selfish and calculative and she tends to lie alot, but is not really good at it, so yeah. It really annoys me alot. She spent the whole morning being sick cos she said that she had food poisoning or whatever. Serves her right. She was puking and all that. Haha I can hear my baby bro crying outside and my granddad's like trying to calm him down, but my baby bro just ends up crying even louder. You have to be here to see it. It's effin hillarious.

My cousins are like lazing around in the bedroom near me, not caring about it at all and I bet my grandma's gonna barge into the room any moment asking them to get their lazy asses off the bed and floor and start helping her with dinner. Oh yeah, my mom found out that I still smoke. She found my cigarettes. I just hope she keeps it to herself and doesn't tell my dad, but I think she's gonna use that to blackmail me or something. Bloody annoying~ I'm just happy to hear that my dad will be joining us in KL tomorrow. I'm going there tomorrow morning and he'll be arriving there in the evening I guess. My mom told me bout this really cool restaurant at KLCC where it revolves around and you can see the whole view of KL. Cool huh? I'm so making my dad bring us all there for dinner. Been a long time since I have been to a restaurant that really wows me.

We're staying at the Mid-valley hotel and I'm kinda dissapointed at that cos I don't think there's gonna be a PC there, so I doubt that I can even go online. *sigh* Well atleast it's only til Sunday morning. I'm going back to Singpore on Sunday morning and will be going back to Brunei on Monday morning travelling Business class all the way. My mom and I are gonna be sitting on different rows, so I think she's gonna have a really hard time managing my little brother and with a passenger beside her, she better prays my lil bro stays good. I'm gonna sit at the back of her and I can just sit back and relax. Serves her right for not booking the tickets earlier. Once we touched down from the aeroplane to Singapore I told her that she better books the tickets early cos the flights are gonna be very full. Did she listen? Nooo~ Well she asked for it and she's getting it.

I can't wait to see Azmi on Monday when I go to tuition. My mom said that I don't have to go to tuition the whole week cos she doesn't wanna pay for the 2 weeks of tuition as it was the holidays you know. I hope she doesn't change her mind cos I don't really wanna go for that extra class of Chemistry. Chemistry sucks. Well, not the subject, the tuition teacher. She's really annoying and if Hayley and I go for the extra class we're the only two girls who will be attending it cos the rest have already attended they're extra class. Sucks right? Let's just hope the teacher forgets all about it and I can just go off without the extra class. Physics tuition kinda sucks too cos it's like 2 hours and I really can't stand it there. It's really boring, eventhough Hayley and I don't really do our work cos we just spend the whole night at tuition laughing our asses off and talking about things that make no sense at all.

I really do have to catch up on my schoolwork though, once school starts cos I didn't do good on my mid-year exam and I'm praying so hard that Ms Jane doesn't call up my parents cos that would really suck big time! My dad's not much of a problem, I think my mom's gonna do serious damage on me. Gawd I hope they don't take away my phone cos I will seriously jump off the roof of my house and drown myself in the pool. I'm just so empty without my cell phone. This really reminds me of the time when I got caught sneaking out and my mom took away my handphone.

Friendly advice for those of you who love to sneak out: You guys better stop before your parents catch you cos when they do it's not gonna be pretty. Especially if you're a chinese cos you know how most chinese parents are right? *not being racist, just stating the facts*

When I lost my phones (my N70 and N80) while I was in Singapore, I didn't have a phone for like a week! My parents boomed ofcourse, but what really bummed me out was that I lost all sense of communication with my friends and I just felt really empty handed and incomplete without it. I cried for weeks when I lost both my phones cos to me, my phones and my friends are like the most precious things I have in this whole entire world. Yes! They even top the boyfriends! Some of you may be going, "OMG! It's just a phone for god's sake. Lighten up!" Well let me tell you! When you lose all the photos and precious messages you have been saving for so long and you just lose em like that, you tend to get emotional!!

Well..I don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow and I hope tomorrow's gonna be good, but I don't know, can't predict the future. Wish I could though, but til then ciao bello (:

&&pop, lock and drop it..*puff*puff*

~ { 2:03 AM }
reflections of you and me;

Monday, June 18, 2007

PRIMA LINE BLOCKED..Sad..stress..home..

*SCREAMS* Just found out that my prima line is blocked cos I went over the limit! Ugh, why the hell does this always happen to me, now I can't call Azmi and I can't text him either. The only way for him to conact me is if he calls me up, but other than that I don't think there are other ways, unless I buy a phone card like I usually do, but I'm just too lazy to do that. I have to walk all the way downstairs and buy it. *sigh* I texted him with my grandma's hp and I also asked Pqah to text him up for me to ask him to call me up, but he hasn't called me up til now! Now I'm pissed..I don't know what the hell's taking him so long and don't tell me that I can't receive calls and messages either cos I will seriously cry my eyes out. Can't wait to get my line back from my mother cos atleast that way I can message cos right now I can't even message anyone!

To make things worse, I overslept so I don't think I'll be doing my hair today, I'm just gonna stay home and wait til tomorrow then I'll start doing my hair and search for my bikini. I've narrowed my shopping list down to the necessities only and the bikini IS a necessity! hahaha..Gawd I miss Azmi like hell. If he calls me up then I'm just gonna ask him to go online cos that's the only way we can commute now. *sigh* So depressed now ):

&&this blog is overdue by a few hours..jux posted it

~ { 2:28 AM }
reflections of you and me;

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Shopping list one item scratched..COUSINS I LOVE

Hey guys remembered in the last post when I said that I would blog again if something interesting happened? Well this isn't really interesting, but I'm happy and kinda have nothing to do right now, so I'm just gonna blog. My mom came back from her shopping spree just now at like 11pm~ I was not surprised cos she usually returns at that time. She helped me buy the contact lenses that I wanted, but she got me the daily ones. The ones which only last up for 24 hours. It's worth it actually cos there are like 10 pairs in each box and the optical shop that she went into was having a promotion. *perky sales girl tone* Buy 3 boxes and you'll get one free! My cousins laughed their asses off when they heard me say that cos I sounded like the people you see on television advertisements when they try to get you to buy something and tell you about the promotions. My mom bought me 3 types of colours: grey, green and pure hazel a.k.a light brown for the people who don't know what pure hazel colour looks like. She got me 2 boxes for green and 1 each for the 2 other colours, so I have 4 boxes in total.

Each box has 10 pairs, so they'll last me for about 1 and a half months which is way better than the monthly ones cos the monthly ones can only last me for a month and they usually give me alot of problems such as sore eye and the such. Contact lenses can be a pain in the ass sometimes and my mom always nags at me when I wanna buy em. She always asks me why would I wanna buy contact lenses when I don't even have eye problems while other people with eye problems are just dying to get that laser eye treatment thingy. Duh! Cos coloured contact lenses make me look pretty. *angelic smile*

I'm trying on the grey colour and my mom said that it makes me look like a panda cos the colour's too dark and it makes me look like I have eye bags and dark rings round my eyes. I just need to put on the silver eyeliner and light metalic pink eyeshadow with a little mascara with a light coloured lipgloss and I'll look fine. Don't know why she's kicking up such a big fuss about it. My cousins were snickering away when they heard my mom nagging at me. I could see them making stupid faces at the doorway. Oh don't get me wrong, I love em, but they can be really annoying at times. They did the sweetest thing for me just now in the evening. They wrote in my scrap book just now. It literally brought tears to my eyes. I'm not trying to be a drama queen here, but what they did just now was really sweet.

WHAT THEY WROTE:

Wai Seng: Oit! You ah don't 4get to send me e-mail from Brunei! Take care of urself. Don't make me fly all the way there and beat ur ass! HAHA! will miss you lor! CAN?! My comment: The beat ur ass thing sounded so wrong, but it's like an inside joke between me and him so yeah..

Fai: Weylo siao cha bo! Eh u know or not ah Ah Di told me he like you leh! Chibai lah u now tell me all that bullshit that you taken liao. Last tym flirt2 with him, now wanna play hard to get! You don't noty2 there ah I tell you! Next time we go out and hang around with the gang again k? Bye bye! Chao liao..siao cha bo! =p My comment: He's the Ah Beng Ah Seng type, so excuse the strong Singapore accent and slang. The story behind Ah Di, I'll tell you guys someday in another blog entry hehe. SO KEEP READING :p
Lau: Hai! Ask me to write in your s2pid book! :p Small enuff?! Take care in Brunei! Luv you cousin! My comment: He's the not so close to cousin, so his comment was short, we have our differences and we tend to fight alot and we don't really talk much, so you can't expect a long one from him. He was actually forced to write that comment into the scrap book, so I don't really appreciate his comment considering that he called my scrap book stupid!

Ching: Hi jie mei! Wah will miss you leh. JonJon ask us to write one! Surprise you lor! Cum back soon ah jie mei. we all miss u de! Next tyme we go hang out with Ah Zai dey all agen k? Dey sed will miss u 2! Luf u jie mei whooooooo!!!!! My comment: Ching's like the hottie among my closest guy cousins. But to me he's still 2nd best haha Jonjon looks betta :p Nah JJ kambang liao! HAHAHA
Jon Jon a.k.a JJ: Cousin take care olryts? Don't be notty in Brunei. MISS YOU! Come bk real soon! (= My comment: Well his comment was sorta short, but yeah, we spend enough time with each other already and eventhough he doesn't show it in the comment I know he'll miss me loads cos he always send me emails and we chat more often now, ever since he added me in MSN lolx. *sigh* I'll miss him to the max!

Their comments were sweet no? *sigh* I'll miss all of em so damn much when I get back to Brunei, except for Lau ofcourse. Hehe..But I'm still kinda homesick. I miss my friends back in Brunei and I miss Azmi so damn much! He's really sick right now and I think it's getting worse cos he can't even walk right now! He told me that he spits out blood everytime he coughs when he's sick cos ever since the car accident he was in quite some time ago, he'll spit out blood whenever he gets a fever and coughs too much. I had to force him to go see his doctor at the clinic and the doctor told him to go to JPMC to do an x-ray and check-up. I trust the doctors there at JPMC, so I'm sure they won't give him the same explanation that RIPAS gave him. The doctor over at JPMC said that his rib cage was puncturing his lung or some major artery and that's why he's spitting out blood. The doctor said that if he went for an operation there would be a 50/50 kinda chance that he would either live or die, but if he decides to skip the operation and just take the medication the doctor gave him, cut down on smoking and do some breathing exercises then he would be fine cos if he loses too much blood then he could always find a donor.

But it's like getting so much worse I think and I really need to get back to Brunei and see if he's alright cos I know him very well. He won't listen to me and just rest home, he would go to the gym and still play rugby! STUPID I KNOW! *sigh* I'm just really worried right now and I miss him so damn much! It's like Hayley called me up just now in the afternoon while I was shopping with my mom and she told me that Yusuf (her booyfriend) was at her house and I didn't believe it at first, but they sounded serious. Ugh! Talk bout wrong timing! Gawd I shouldn't have called her back! I felt so bad after the phone call. Well, I was mad at her and the boyfriend for awhile, but I realised that it wasn't Hayley's fault, but it was partly Yusuf's fault. Right now I just kinda dislike him. He knows that I'm outstation and will be away from Azmi for quite some time and the least he could do was just shut the fuck up bout him being at Hayley's house instead of saying, "Jelez? Jelez?" OVER AND OVER AGAIN! Ofcourse I'm fucking jealous! Partly jealous and partly love sick.

I'm feeling bad enough thank you very much! When I asked him bout Hayley's mom he was like, "NAPAKAN?" TALK BOUT BEING RUDE! Bitchy much. Gawd sometimes people just say and do the wrong things to me at the wrong time! My legs are like aching to the max right now cos my mom and I went walking around for the longest time around Orchard Road just now. I was kinda throwing a fit just now at the shopping centre when my mom just refused to go home even when I said that I was really tired. I told her that if she doesn't wanna go home then she could have just left me at the taxi stand and I could go home myself, but noooo she had to go all, "Oh just half an hour, just half an hour more" on me! I called Azmi up while waiting for the to come back from the foodcourt cos she wanted to buy dinner and be a saint all of a sudden and I told him bout everything. He couldn't even talk to me cos he would cough really bad everytime he speaks!

That made me feel far more worse than anything. Knowing that he's not well and that he's in that condition hurts me. Knowing that I can't be there for him when he's in that condition hurts me even more! This is why I hate going out of Brunei sometimes. Tahnk God my cousins are always here to cheer me up. They always make me laugh in the end whenever they see me crying or getting pissed off at someone. *sigh* I'm going back next Monday which is like the first day of school, so no school for me! Whoot whoot! (: I bought this really nice t-shirt just now which I can wear to the next Sunday splash and I found these really cute pair of shorts, but they were too small for me so yeah. All I need now is a bikini. Gawd I saw alot, but nothing seems to really have that 'wow' factor. It frustrates me sometimes. My mom's bringing me to this really nice place to do my hair. I hope David Ghan will be there cos the last time he did my hair, I ended up lookin fabtastic.

Well, tomorrow I'll tell you guys on how my hair turns out (: till then..i guess it's ciao bello -_~

&&GAH! Tears run down my face

~ { 10:33 AM }
reflections of you and me;

Blog restarted

Ok first off, I'm in Singapore now and secondly sorry for not blogging for like the longest time ever! My laptop was being so incooperative (is that even a word?) sooo~ I had to put off blogging for awhile and leave my online diary on hiatus. Since there's wireless here in my grandparents' house, provided by my uncle, might as well use it to my advantage right? My e-speed/wireless network in my house back in Brunei isn't working and I was forced to use Brunet. Brunet is really lagging, so I just decided to put the blog on 'hibernation' mode for awhile. Nothing interesting has happened, so why should I leave you guys to the boring parts of my life right?

Yesterday, before my flight to Singapore, all hell broke loose at home. My miads were all getting on my nerves! (WARNING: This part will make me sound like a spoilt brat, but they are all true and I know you guys will feel the same way too and react the same way if you were in my situation that morning.) I was supposed to wake up at like 8.30 in the morning cos I thought that Azmi would call cos he told me that he wanted to talk to me before I went off to Singapore, but since he overslept, I just turned the alarm off and decided to sleep for a lil while more. How the hell would I know that I would oversleep and wake up at like 10am!

I had to quickly rush through everything! I showered fast and started checking my luggages to make sure that I haven't left anything I need. After everything was done, my mom finally came back home from the bank and was checking her stuff too when we forgot all bout the time! Our flight was at 12.20pm and it was already 11am! Wequickly rushed through everything and I totally forgot that I had to change my hp! I had to use my old phone cos my parents and I know that whenever I go overseas, there was always a high chance that I would lose my hp again. I cannot and will not stand to lose my N95!

I swear to god if i lose this hp of mine, I will definitely cry my ass off til the next century. Not cos of the scoldings I'll get from my parents (well maybe a lil bit cos of that), but cos this phone means the world to me! It's like the best phone ever. If you don't believe me just check online and check out it's functions and you'll be amazed at home light and thin it is. It's atleast lighter than the N80. So yeah, anyways, when I was rushing through everything and was about to leave, I realised that I had forgot to put my sim card into the phone I changed into. How stupid, I KNOW!! I rushed back out to the car and told the driver to pull my luggage back out.

The driver was really lagging in brains and annoyed the shit outta me! I was trying to take out the sim card from my N95 when the stupid maid came outside and started telling me that my grandma was on the line. What annoyed me most was when I told her to wait she just won't! I just got so fed up with her and started to scream at her to wait and finally she did. My grandma told me that there was a sum of money she left on the table for me and she wanted me to take it, but since I was so busy, she just told my maid to get it for me. Ugh! The maids in my house have brains, but they just refuse to use them!

When everything was done, I was on my way out of the house, when one of the maids came out with my handcarry in her hands. She knew I was in a rush so the the least she could do was run to the car right? But nooooo...She took her own sweet time walking to car! I screamed at her and told her to run cos I was in a hurry. If i had a chance to send all the maids home I would! I would rather get new ones and train them myself than to stand having these ones.

My mom got business class seats, so thank god for that! The services that they give my Singapore airlines is farrr more better than Brunei airlines. I'm not trying to criticize Brunei airlines, but seriously, they have got to step up they're game. The stewards and stewardesses on Singapore airlines are far more friendlier that the ones on Brunei airlines. I slept through the whole flight cos I didn't get a good night's rest on the night before my flight to Singapore.

Once we touched down to Singapore, we just went to my grandparents' place, threw our stuff there and went shopping. My mom and I were really hungry, so we went over to Sushit Tei, which is at Paragon and grabbed a bite. The sushi there is fantastic. It's always a must for us to go there whenever we come to Singapore. After dinner, we went shopping, I got myself 2 pairs of really chic-looking shorts which I can wear to the next Sunday Splash, the LOREAL Slimming Massage whatever-they-call-it and $352.90 worth of cd's! I was about to get myself a pair of heels, but couldn't find any that tickled my fancy.

I spent so much that day and it was only the first day! I have to cut down on the shopping sprees and limit myself to the neccesities cos my dad'll kill me when the credit card bill arrives. I still have to go shopping in KL, so yeah. Today's like my resting day at home, so I guess I'm just gonna stay home today and go out tomorrow. My feet are ultimately sore from all the walking and shopping yesterday. I still have some stuff to buy on my shopping list and I made a promise to myself that I will complete the shopping list on this trip no matter what it takes~

MY SHOPPING LIST:

coloured contact lenses (I do not have eye problems, I'm gettin un-degreed ones)
bikini, atleast 2 sets
new pair of heels, shoes and flip-flops
ipod casing
sun block
haircut and new highlights
wallet
handbag
gifts for friends
bracelet, ring and necklace

That's about it for my shopping list. Short right? *evil grin* I'm gonna make the most of this trip and I'm hoping to lose alot of weight from this trip and go back looking fresh, refined and de-stressed cos right now I look like hell from all the stress from my studies, social life and not to mention the stress my family back in Brunei gives me. Nothing ever goes right in the house of the Lim family. Something must always happen. Annoying~

Just now in the morning, I woke up quite early, earlier than the rest of the people in the house actually. My cousins were all still sleeping, except for Jon Jon, I just call him JJ so yeah. JJ was finshing up his breakfast and I was so surprised to see him up so early cos he's the night-owl type and is usually the one who brings me out late at night to meet up his hawt friends hehehe. My cousins only sleepover here at my grandparents when I'm around so yeah. He told me that he didn't sleep the whole night cos he was out with his friends til like 5am.

Trust me, I was not surprised to hear that. So we went downstairs to 7/11 and bought some stuff to drink and had a smoke downstairs. We were chatting away and somehow we ended up talking about our love lives and our past relationships. Turns out he had this girl he was into and she broke his heart. So sad~ *sigh* He always falls for the bad girls and plays the good ones. His attitude towards life and relationships is more or less the same as mine, so we can usually relate to each other and understand each others' feelings and pain.

He's sorta like the closer one to me than the rest of my other cousins. While waiting for the lift, there was this old man walking past us and whew did he smell bad. JJ and I made this face and we laughed our asses off while we were in the lift cos the faces we made were so alike! Haha! By the time we went back up, my grandparents were already awake and they sorta ngged at us cos we were laughing so loud and told us that we could have woken up the ngihbours. We didn't pay them much attention cos you know how old people can be right? They become very naggy so yeah.

We walked into the room and the rest of them were still in lala land so we decided to order something for lunch. It was already 11.30am and we were really starving. Singapore services are really good so within a half an hour we got our food and started eating. The rest woke up while JJ and I were eating our lunch and they started eating our french fries! I smacked Wai Seng and Fai's heads and told them to get they're own lunch. JJ just pushed Ching and Lau away and told them to piss off. We all talk like that to each other, so yeah. We get used to it. Hehe. The rest of em went down to the hawker centre downstairs grumbling they're asses off.

Well..that's pretty much what happened today, if anything interesting happens again later on at night I'll blog about it, but till then, ciaooo bello (:

&&homesick ):

~ { 1:48 AM }
reflections of you and me;