First day in KL HELL!! Cnt wait for mi daddy 2 b hea ):
*sigh* So sick of my mom. Just now was the final straw! I couldn't take it anymore. She wouldn't buy anything for me. Going shopping with her is just no fun. She keeps pissing me off, so I just walked out on her. I took the room key from my grandpa and just went back to the hotel myself. I'm staying at the Boulevard Hotel which is just beside the Mid-Valley Megamall which is like my most favoured shopping area. It's like I can find everything I want and need there. Should have just saved up my time in Singapore and just do my shopping here cos now's the sales season here in KL. My mom's just not willing to spend money on me cos in the end there'll be none left for her. Selfish right? Some of you may be asking on how I know that she doesn't wanna spend it on me and is doing it for my own good. Well lemme answer your question. She tells my grandmother almost everything so it's really easy to know what she says about me behind my back cos nobody's on her side! She thinks that my grandma is taking her side, but in fact she's taking mine. Even her own mother and father can't even stand her! Well not only them, the whole family actually. Ugh she always thinks that she's like this fabulous mother, but in fact she's being a terrible one! Just now when we were still at the airport in Singapore, she just went off shopping by herself and left me behind! She just walked off and pretended that I wasn't there. It's like now I don't even feel like I'm her daughter! How insane is that?! It's like I hate her and she hates me. At a point of time she went for this stupid course and she did however change, but she just went back to her same ol' self awhile later, so there was really no point in her attending the damn course and it's a waste of her money! What she needs is a psychiatrist cos she's flippin psycho! She's like that lady in the movie Desperate Housewife. For those of you who watches it, the character I'm talking about is Bree!! My mom's just like her. Just can't stand her! She wants everything to be her way. Well sor-ry, I'm not letting anyone step on me like a fucking doormat! Especially not by her. Ever since we got to Singapore, she has just been putting up this stupid attitude like she's a really nice person and blah to the blah blah. 4 letters: F-A-K-E!! She's always good at faking her attitude, emotions and all, but I can see right through her! To me, she's so~ transparent. Eventhough she tells me that she does everything for my own good, I know that it's not true. I know her very well. Duh! She's my mom for god's sake. I know her better than anyone else, well except for my grandma. She knows my mom better than anyone else. Even when my mom lies to her, she knows. Gawd this just annoys the hell outta me. I just can't wait for my dad to reach here. He told my mom that he'll reach here at bout midnight I think. This room gives me the fucking creeps! I told Azmi to call me just now and he did. I couldn't talk long cos it's like $1 per minute for me if he calls me and I'm overseas. Now I honestly regret overusing the prima line. Now it's blocked and I can't talk to Azmi for long anymore and it's just bloody annoying! I just don't get what's taking him so effin long to just get online!*sigh* My first day in KL is obviously not going as well as I though it would go. Well, atleast the hotel's nice and I can go online with their free wireless network. All I have to do is just make sure that I don't lose the password and username that I wrote down for the wireless network cos to use the wireless network I need to key in some username and password. When the hell are they gonna come back. I mean my grandparents ofcourse. I don't bloody care if my mom comes back or not. I just want my grandparetns and lil bro back here, so atleast it won't be so damn quiet here. I only have the sound of the telivision for sound. Well, I can actually turn on my ipod and use the new ipod speaker I bought from the airport just now, but my mom locked it inside her luggage, how typical of her. I bought this new Dior lipgloss from the airport too just now. Dior Ultra-Shine Gloss. At first I chose the pink colour gloss, but the promoter suggested that I took the other colour, so atleast I have some colour on my lips cos the pink won't show off any colour. Once I spread it on my lips, it'll be transparent, so I took her advice and took the other shade of pink, which is also glossy and shiny, but the only difference is you can actually see the colour and it's more of a metallic pink and the other one was a glittery light pink.I really miss Brunei a whole lot. RQ's having a gathering at the beach this Sunday and I won't be able to make it huhuhu *cries* cos I'll still be in Singapore at that time, stuck with the family. *sniff*sniff* It's not fair that I have to miss it. I just joined RQ and is supposed to go for the gathering to know the rest of the people in RQ. In case you guys don't know what RQ stands for, it stands for Ridin Queenz. It's the female version of Ridin Brotherz. Apek invited me to join the group a few weeks ago, but I wasn't so sure if I was in the group yet or not, so yeah. Can you believe it? His cousin just tried to pick up a fight with me like a few days ago, saying that she's taking revenge and blah to the blah blah~ She said, "I'm taking revenge on Apek's behalf." Ouh how dramatic. Ugh..fuh-reak. I respect Apek like my bro angkat, so I didn't wanna pick a fight with her. She acted like she knew me so well and she told Apek that he was too blind to see that I'm just using him cos when I have no friends then I look for him for company and when I have friends, I act like I'm forced to layan him. How bloody ridiculous is that? She called me a queen bitch. Immature-much!!Who the hell uses the term 'queen bitch' anymore?! Well, maybe 10 yr olds who are just starting to learn how to curse, but not a fucking 20+ yr old lady. She practically tried to say that I'm a two-faced kind of person. For god's sake. Puh-lease man!! I'm not that pathetic alright. Maybe in the past, but I grow up you know. Grown people who are mature enough to think don't stab people in the back or have two faces cos I've grown to realise that stabbing people from the front hurts them even more worse than stabbing them from the back. Hey, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that it's right to stab people in the back nor from the back. What I'm trying to say is, only immature people do all these stupid things. She claims that I hurt Apek on purpose. Gah! People like these really annoy me alot. TO THE MAXIMUM!!! She acts like she knows everything bout me, but in fact, she doesn't know shit about me! How effin stupid is that? I told her to go get her facts straightened out first and told her that she has no right to judge me as she doesn't know shit bout me. When I said that I didn't wanna fight with her and that it would be pointless to keep dissing me when I won't even give her a respond, she ended up why I didn't wanna fight with her and she assumed that I was scared. I was laughing at the PC when I saw what she sent me. Scared? Why the hell would I be scared of her? She told me that if I ever hurt Apek in anyway ever again she would come down to Brunei and meet me up. I was like roigghhtt~ whatever~ I'm used to people screaming at me and if she wants to hit me then go right ahead whoop di fucking doo~ i know I'm innocent cos I never meant to hurt Apek in any way. Would she rather I tell him I love him when I don't and pretend to love him just cos I was forced to? Then end up breaking up with him by telling that I was faking it all from the beginning? That would hurt him much more! I was just being honest. I couldn't lie to him. She keeps saying that I don't wanna be with him just cos he's fat and ugly. I was like, "Girl I am not that shallow ok!" Ok, fine..his outer looks may not be the most eye-pleasing thing, but please man...That's not the only reason! There was no sparks between Apek and I! Eventhough if he felt it, I didn't. I tried ok..I tried! I gave it a shot when we were in the cinema together watching Shrek 3 with Hary, Nurul and Farah. I let him hold my hand and kiss me on the cheek. I figured that what the hell, might as well give it a shot right? But seriously there wasn't a single spark in sight!! I gave him a chance, that one chance and it didn't work. When I know something won't work, trust me it just won't. Love is not only through seeing personality matches. There must be some chemistry there too. Without the chemistry and the sparks, it just won't work. Gah! Until know, he just won't let it go. He did tell me something bout him taking advantage of me and it's like I don't even care or something, ugh I don't even know what he was talking about. I talked to my teddy bout it and he said that I should just ignore for awhile and let things chill off first. (In case some of you think I'm talking about a stuffed toy I'm not. I call one of my friends teddy. I don't talk to teddy bears ok! I'm not THAT psycho you know.) I just don't wanna break his heart. Nada me sampai ati ok!! Eventhough he sometimes annoy me, I still don't wanna hurt him. To me he's like a close buddy of mine so yeah, I can't bear to see him hurt. That's why whenever he tells me that I hurt him or something I'll feel really bad. *sigh* Let's just skip this topic cos it's so ruining my mood right now.God..Fadhli's back again. The guy I used to like last time when I was with my ex. Fadh and I were kinda like this affair behind my ex. We kept our thing secret. I used to always text him up and call him up last time until we got into this stupid arguement and ended up not contacting each other for quite some time. Then now, we just started talking again. Either he decided to unblock me or something or he just deicided to start MSN-ing again. Then now we're like chatting away like we used to do. Only now, less touchy2 and more to the friendly get-to-know-you-better side. He's single now cos he just broke up with his ex and turns out that his player side has changed. Now Fadh and I chat til like late into the night til either one of us gets like really tired and decides to go sleep or something. At this point you may be asking yourself like, "So? What's so bad bout that?" Remember the liking him part? Am I gonna make the same mistake again? Am I gonna fall for his tricks again? Cos I really don't wanna fall for it the second time. *sigh* who knows what'll happen right? well this is it for tonite. will blog again tomorrow (: ciao bello<3&&I make him go lol lol lol!<3
