Thursday, February 28, 2008

SO INTO THE AZMI hahahha

Sorry for the random title guys..But I can't help it! haha..I'm just so in love with this boy...trust me..He is the only person that's on my mind everyday everytime. I'm so damn bored at this moment..like boreddd hantaaappp!!!!! hahaha..I spent half an hour just now just looking at the ceiling waiting for the lamp to fall from the ceiling..hahaha

Just texted the boyfie..Poor thing..He's stuck at the cybercafe waiting for his driver. He's really poofed. These few days things have been going ok, but Assessment test is on Saturday and I'm not even prepared yet! I think I have mold growing on my textbooks~ Seriously eventhough I'm in one of the best classes in school, trust me..I belong in art stream. I HATE PURE SCIENCE!!!! and I have good reason too.

The subjects are all so damn hard and the pressure is hugeeeee. If I really have to pass, I would have to really cut down on my time with Azmi. But you all know that I really can't do that. I 'm seriously stuck on him. Some of you may say that I'm stuck in my own 'fairytale world' then well...right now I would have to agree partly. It isn't all fairytales and happy sun sun all the way you know (did that make sense? *raises eyebrow)...We do have our fights and when we fight, trust me...it's dramatic. I cry..he goes all depressed..I worry worry and in the end we will find a way to work things out and they always work.

I'm praying that it'll last this way til..well..forever I hope. Seriously..this is like the longest commitment I have ever made in my whole life. 10 months being with a guy...without the playing around..without flirting around and finally admitting my status to the whole world that I AM TAKEN!! T TO THE FUCKING A-K-E-N!!!!!

Whooott!! hahaha..damn happy.

The past 6-7 months of the relationship was bullshit. Things weren't going the way we planned and most of the shits that happened in the relationship was my fault and trust me..I paid for it big time. Read my previous blog hahaha..the one in December 07' and January 08. Karma bit me on the ass and it bit hard. All you people who have actually warned me about karma..shut the hell up cos I have paid my dues ok! haha

About 2 weeks ago, we actually went through a huge bump. His old habits came back and he started being in contact with this girl. She's his friend and all. That I can take..but them constantly messaging each other and calling each other...too much. He fucking saved her messages too...I read them all and yeah trust me..I wanted to smash her ugly ass face into a concrete wall.

I talked to him about it and well I got some help from a few of my very good friends and managed to work things out with Azmi and get him back. He loves me alot..trust me he does. And no matter what other people do or say...it aint gonna work so back the hell off. He is mine and mine only (:

I don't know why in the world I would give up the fun of being single, but it's worth it. To me it is. I'm almost positive that I've found 'the one'. Can't be too confident about it to early. Bad luck..haha..stupid, but I can't take chances. At this point I just don't wannt lose him. I never want to. Almost did, almost died...heart almost came outta my mouth.

You know, I kinda wasn't sure that I was really in love..so I kinda checked out this site you know..here's the link: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_do_you_know_if_it_is_love_or_lust

The answers are all there and everything there..he's done for me. I'm positive it's love. He has really commited himself to me. I feel so happy when I'm around him. At one point..I actually felt like noone around mattered. As if the whole world just disappeared and there was only him..and me duh~ haha

Yeah I know I'm getting all mushy mushy, but hey it's my blog so deal with it! Haha..I haven't blogged in awhile and this feeling's just all cooped up inside me. Few weeks ago, I still remember..there was this girl in my school who goes to the same chem class as me in Flying Colours. She was talking about me behind my back. She called me a bitch and blah blah you know the usual. She actually said that some people..*ahem* lemme repeat..some people in school were talking about me wearing a mini skirt to tuition.

I mean..HELLOOOOO!! Wake the hell up kiddos...it's 2008..and plus it's my body..my image so I can do whatever the hell I wanna do with it. They have absolutely no right to judge me and the way I dress when they all look like absolute fucktards who crawled out of some strange world where fashion doesn't fucking exist. Anyways~ I wasn't actually gonna let the whole thing slide when I heard she talked about the boyfie.

THAT WAS OUT OF LINE! I actually heard it while I was at tuition and at that very moment when I heard about what she said, I wanted to go to her and give her a huge punch in the face. She better thank god that she went home early cos if not, she would be going home with either her nose all bent or her jaw slanting sideways. I was that pissed off. I don't give a flying tuck if you talk about me..but once you bring the boyfie into the picture..You are digging your own grave.

She actually had the nerve to say that Azmi was only using me for sex and money. She also said some pretty nasty and untrue things about some of my other friends. Rule number one in my little book: Do not diss the people around cos the consequences are fatal (:

I actually went up to her at school and asked her about the whole issue and I was actuall keeping my cool until she walked away from me while I was talking!! Pfft..classic loser move.

I went into her class and asked her to turn back to me and talk to me. She said she didn't wanna talk about the issue. She 'claims' that she never said anything about my friends and that she only 'asked' about my boyfriend and me. I mean...is it any of her business anyways? It's my fucking relationship so why should she care anyways? It's not like I talk to her. I have never even spoken 3 words in a sentence to her. We went to the same tuition druing Primary 3 last time and that was it.

It's ok if she wanted to ask if he was boyfriend or not and all that common stuff, but for god's sake...why in the world would she out of everyone I know...wanna know about my relationship and what my boyfriend and I do? Hasn't she ever heard of privacy? Guess not..I actually screamed at her and everything.

I just didn't hit her. Couldn't..Azmi didn't want me to. He doesn't want me to fight all the time. Especially not in school cos it wouldn't look good on my record. So I put my ego down and just let it be for now. Now...well I haven't seen her in my chem class so far this week. Maybe she changed to a different group. Maybe she dies..who cares? I for sure don't. Hahaha..

Jobless people sometimes just gets on my nerves..I mean like..find something to do man!!! There must be somethingggg!! ANYTHING!!! HAHAHA

Anyways...I'm done here haha..I'm on the phone with the boyfie now..and yes yes...I know you're getting sick of hearing about him...I'll stop here ahahaha...c yuh peoples..will blog again soon....ciao bello

&&LOVE LIKE THIS

~ { 7:46 AM }
reflections of you and me;

Sunday, February 10, 2008

TIRED

You have no idea how tired I am at this moment. My back hurts cos I didn't sleep well last night and it's bloody hot here cos the aircon's broken. I just got back from tuition. Thank god I got to see the boyfie just now. Chinese New Year was..well...Chinese New Year-ish...I'm not making sense am I?? Well, it was ok...nothing interesting. My boyfie and my other friends came over last night til 10 plus. We all hung out and watched movies. We watched Alvin and the chipmunks which was great..Then I had to put on the stupid Thai horror flick. It's called The House and trust me, it's bloody scary.

It scared the crap outta me. Even the boys were scared. Apatah lagi the girls right? I couldn't really sleep last night cos I kept imagining shit. Ok I'm not gonna go into detail bout the whole movie cos I just managed to forget about it and I DO NOT wanna remember it again. Enough scary shit for a day. Eventhough I am a horror flick fan, I can't stand the nightmares. Not enough sleep=cranky jesie. Noone likes me when I'm cranky cos I get all agrivated and scream at everything and everybody.

Yesterday a few of my school mates were supposed to come over to my crib and chill, but they all canceled...last minute. One cancelled, so the other cancelled and soon everyone cancelled. Thank God the boyfie and his friends were there to finish the food I ordered from Pizza Hut. When they were all about to go, I started to clean up and my boyfie looked at me clean up. He just stared at me and it kinda freaked me out.

I asked him about it just now and he told me that his granny once told him that there a few things to look out for in a girl if you wanna know if she'll make a good wife in the future or not. There are 10 actually, but he only told me the two things cos he saw it in me. Duh...he can't tell me the rest cos I might do em on purpose just to get to him right? The first is the fact that I hate it when he constantly spoils me. And the second is that I do clean my shit up you know.

Yes yes...hard to beieve that the brat actually learned how to clean up after everything, but hey you gotta learn how to be more responsible someday right? How else are you gonna survive on your own in the future? God knows I seriously don't wanna get scolded by my dad. He hates it when I leave things in a mess. He's a neat-freak, but then..aren't all parents like that? hahaha

Anyways, tomorrow it's back to school time and everything will be back to normal. Form 5...you have to hate it. All the pressure in getting good grades. I need to get my head into the books soon too. Cos O levels aint like PMB. Not so easy. It's harder than that and it's like you gotta get prepared evenbythe beginning of the year. You can't study like 2 months before the o levels. It aint gonna work that way. Form 4 and 5 is damn complicating. The subjects are all fucked up. Being in a pure science class is something to be proud of, but the subjects are crazy!!

You have to really crack your head open to get what you're actually reading most of the time. I tried to persuade my parents to transfer me to combine science, but they just told me to study harder and put more effort into it. WHAT THE HELL?????!!!! Hey I'm trying my best already, but can I help it if I have a life?? Getting credits are just not enough for these people. You gotta get A's and A1's!!!

I think I might have to actually give up the whole social thing to get it. Oh yeah..there's this valentine's day prom thing my friends are throwing at this place somewhere in berakas I heard. It's $15 per ticket. I haven't told my dad about it yet. My mom knows though. I'm payin for the ticket using my own pocket money so yeah.

AS for what Im gona wear to the prom, not sure yet. I don't really like wearing dresses. I'm more to the mini skirts and jeans and tees kinda chick. Not really into dressing up haha. Can't help it if I love the casual chill out scene. Trust me..peace and serenity is what I need right now ahhaha..AND I NEED IT ASAP!!!

As for now, this tired chica's out. Don't worry..I'll blog again soon (: ciao bellos

&&PEACE AND SERENITY..I NEED NOW!!!!!

Labels: 298 my guardian angel..

~ { 2:23 AM }
reflections of you and me;