Monday, March 24, 2008

Rain rainnn~~

It's finally holidays and i have 6 more days til school starts!! Damn..holidays just seem to be so short~ I hate it when time seems to just go by so fast when you're having fun and when you're super bored, time goes slow as hell. Life's a bitch that way, but oh well~ Can't avoid it right? There's always suicide though..hmm~ *thinks* Nahhh~ HELL NO! Haha

Life's too good for me to just throw away. My parents are both out so I have free time to myself at home. Some peace and quiet. My mom and I had an arguement...again. She hit me on the head yesterday, claiming that I woke her up. What the hell? Seriously people, how the hell can you wake someone up by sleeping late? The room's soo far away from the living room, where I watch tv and I have never even stepped into her room once. NOT EVEN ONCE!

I walked into my room, climbed into bed and she just started screaming at me saying that I woke her up. I kinda argued back cos I wasn't really in the mood for her shit and she just started to hit my head! I just let her hit me and I fell asleep. Thank God I got to wake up late just now. I picked up the boyfie at his house just now in the afternoon and he hung out at my place for abit and we went to Kiulap together. My grandmother did the most humiliating thing ever to me!

I introduced him to her..but as 'my friend' and she started asking me stuff bout him then she told him in her singlish way that he has to take good care of me blah di blah di blah. It was kinda embarassing when she started to say that I wasn't the best student in school and he has to teach me to study better. Fuck that was embarassing~ I ran into the room and I wanted to suffocate myself with the pillow.

He just laughed and gave me that annoying smile he always gives me when he's all satisfied with himself. It never fails to make me laugh and try to pinch his cheeks. He made peace with my dog Snowy. Yeah, he's a malay, but he touches my dog. He takes himself as a free-thinker~ So who am I to disagree with it. Atleast my grandma likes him. That's a start right? (:

I'm kinda planning on what I should do tomorrow afternoon cos I'm free the whole day til 7 at night. Damnn..what can I do? Mall? No...That place gets boring when you start going there everyday. Well the way I see it, I have two choices...One, I can go for a movie at Seri Qlap or Two, I can catch a quick dinner with the boyfie at Mamih or Swensens. Option one or two? I don't know. *slaps forehead*

I'll just think about it later. Hayley wants to bring me out for a double date on Wednesday. She plans on watching a movie at Empire Cinema. Spiderwick Chronicles. Booo...I watched that movie already. I mean it's cool watching a movie at Empire, but Spiderwick Chronicles? I watched the movie already. The movie was nice, but had a sucky ending. Was thinking of watching a horror flick. I watched this cartoon called Horton found a WHO and trust me it was boring. My boyfriend and I bailed.

It was funny at some parts, but it got really boring. The movie that I'm actually anticipating for is Get Smart and 27 bridesmaid dresses. Those two movies are a must-watch!!!! I saw the trailers and they rocked. So yeah~ So far only these two movies interest me. The rest can kiss my butt~

I just checked the newspaper and none of those movies are playing yet in the cinemas. 27 dresses is having its sneak preview though. I'm waiting for it to start showing in Empire Cinema. It's more comfy there and the VIP seats are amazing. Huge individual sofa seats and complimentary popcorn and drink for each ticket bought. The sofa is big enough to fit two so it's a big plus for couples (:

Expensive though~ but still~ once in awhile indulgence isn't wrong right? Anyways, I just found out a few days ago that Swensens has this chocolate fondue thing right now and I am craving for it so badly. Chocolate plus strawberries? KINKY! Haha..sorry~ It's trueee =p

Anywayz I'm gone. I'm poofed. Ciao bello (:

&&touch my body

~ { 4:53 AM }
reflections of you and me;

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Mighty fine day..Psycho? Moi? lmao..

Hey guys~ First, I kinda need to apologize for the recent fights on my tagboard. Some ignorant 'passerby' started to jump into and issue she/he isn't even involved in. See...this person fights through the tagboard and through words. And whenever i try to set up a meeting between me and her to settle this issue once and for all, she doesn't answer it. It's like she doesn't have any guts at all to do this face to face.

This person says that I write like a psycho blah blah blah, I'm cheap blah blah blah..Puh-lease...They should seriously look themselves in the mirror and then talk. I do bitch about people, I agree..but I don't go around stealing people's boyfriends and stalking em to the extend of tracking down their blog address and hate on them through there. It's so pathetic that it's almost depressing to see haters stoop so low.

And this 'passerby' just keeps contradicting herself. She writes on the tagboard that she doesn't give a shit about me or my boyfriend, but comes onto my blog every single day and reads my post. Then she starts hating on my post. Come on~ *knock knock* Wake the hell up. If you don't give a shit, you wouldn't be reading my posts and tagging on my tagboard. You wouldn't even come onto this blog!

By stalking my posts and tagging so much on my tagboard. It proves you care alot hun. And my gawd..ur english? I don't even wanna go there. One advice...BUY A DICTIONARY, READ IT, LEARN IT, LIVE IT, EAT IT. Maybe then you're english would get better and maybe then you can actually win this arguement. Your lame comebacks can seriously kiss my chinese ass cos they seriously need some upgrading.

Anyways this post is actually ment for the 'passerby'. Feel special cos you got a post about YOU all about YOU (: I seldom do this, but I need to show some sort of appreciation to the amusement you have given me these past few days right? Hahaha (: You have honestly made my day. Oh btw...you need to get a REAL life. You AND your matchsticks can go kiss ass somewhere else and not here. I prefer to keep my blog out of the drama.

And if you wanna fight or argue, do it face to face. You can bring the matchsticks along too. I don't mind. Or maybe it is on of you who's tagging. Anyways..just do this face to face cos this is just downright pointless. See yah hater (: I'm so looking forward to meeting you in person.

&&Pathetic is a definition of you. Ignorance is the very idea of you. Ugliness is what describes you.

~ { 7:30 PM }
reflections of you and me;

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Haterz back off (:

Read the label with ample care (: cos I mean it. These few days I've realised that quite a number of people are seriously showing their true colours to me and lemme tell ya, they're the people who have annoyed me since the very beggining. I've just kept my mouth shut and sat silently, mocking them in my heart. Well the nice girl is long-gone.

If I do not like you trust me, I will show it and you'll know it. If I start rolling my eyes at you, back off and shut up cos I will seriously kick your ass. These few days have been hell for me. Whether I'm in or out of the house, people just tend to piss me off easily. So I've made up my mind. Fuck with me and you'll wish you were never born.

I'll either hurt you with my words or my fist. Trust me, you would rather pick the fist cos emotional pain takes a long, lonngggg time to heal. Gawd...I'm just so done with all the hating and backstabbing. If you do not like me, say it to my damn face. Not through msn, not through my blog, but to my face. I don't care if you think what I write in here is meaningless or bitchy. I'm just being honest.

In my blog is the only way I can actually be honest. It's where I put my thoughts in. It's my online diary, so you better read this carefully. I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT WHAT YOU HATERS THINK.

If you have so much time on your hands to bitch about other people, why can't you make use of that time to get an attitude-makeover and stay out of my life? You wanna bitch...can~ Ofcourse you can. It's your right, but make sure it doesn't reach the ears of the person you bitch about. Especially when it's me cos I will go after your ugly ass and stab you..not from the back but from the front.

Yes, I sound mean, and this is what happens when people send me over the edge. I haven't been having really good days lately. Everyone seems to be pissing me off. My parents too. They just keep screaming at me and it's like they're trying to drive me outta the damn house.

God...and my maid..gah I don't even wanna talk about it cos I might smash the pc screen. I have a bad temper...screw it..it's genetic. Both my parents have really bad tempers, so it comes to no surprise that mine will be worse. They're abusive people...one's evil to the core and the other has a temper that'll blow up in your face and turn you into shishkebab.

And oh yeah, to nunu and bryant I'm soo sooo sorry that I can't go to the prom. Azmi didn't wanna go and he doesn't really like the idea of me going either. I'm so so sorry yeah guys? I hope the party turns out good. I'm sure it will. Have fun there yeah guys?

Oh yeah to you other readers out there. There's gonna be a party at Dewan Muhibah on the 21st this month. It's a
masquerade prom. Formal..there's gonna be a food, drinks, am emcee and duh...DJ. The DJ's my all-time good friend Apek. It's $20 per head. If you need more details just leave a shout out in my chatbox and i'll lead you to Ashlee.

Anyways, I'm out (: I blogged my anger away already hahaha. Gots to get my ass movin..watchin dvds with the cuzzies. Ciao bellos

&&PARTY/PROM AT DEWAN MUHIBAH!!! GO GO GO (:

~ { 4:28 AM }
reflections of you and me;

Thursday, March 13, 2008

BORED?

I'm bored..Seriously peoples. I'm bored outta my mind! Ohhh..this font looks nice..let's try and italic it..ahhhh...interesting~ Looks like those old-fashioned typewriters' font. Let's bold it and underline it. Ahhhh...haha I know lame~ But I'm bored. Can't help it really~

I'm going to tuition in a bit later on. So yeah gonna spend some time with the boyfie after tuition and the good news is...I DON'T HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW!!!!!. YAYYYY! It means I can go to the mall with my friends and the boyfie tomorrow early! Thank god. I need to get outta the house like so badly right now.

I was kinda pissed off in the morning cos some bimbos made a really really stupid remark about me. My tuition mate told me what they said. They said, "cubatah ia cari girlfriend lain". In english translation means, "why can't he find some other girlfriend?".

I blew my top. My blood pressure went haywire. I will not take anyone talking about me like that. Once it concerns me and my boyfriend or the relationship, trust me that person will not have his/her teeth anymore. I had to deal with this issue last time in school and now I have to deal with it at tuition? What the hell is their problem?

Can't they find someone else to talk about or can't they just get on with their own life? Seriously if you need to bitch about someone else just to make yourself feel good, you must feel soooo fucking ugly inside. I don't like it when people, whom I do not even know, bitch about me just for the sake of their happiness. Well so-ryyy, I don't fucking care about their happiness. People like that don't deserve to be happy.

Their always there gawking at my boyfie every tuesday night at 8.15 at tuition. I'll get em then. There's 3 of em. Trust me they look like walking matchsticks. They look anorexic. Even my boyfie calls them the walking matchbox. He actually called em that first. You should see the way they look at me. God it's like they wanna kill me or something. PSYCHO!!!

Don't they know that most of the people there at tuition thinks they should just go to hell? God...unbelievable how ignorant people can be. It amazes me. *sarcasm*

Anyways, enough with the bitching and back to the happy issues. The boyfie's taking November this year, so he goes to Geo class with me. He finally realised that I really care for his studies. I mean he got only one O for his O levels. I really want him to aim for 4 more this year so he can get into MD.

My parents are pushing me to get into MD, but I mean, what do they provide there? I know it's in Gadong and it's damn near to the mall, but hey what's the point of going to the mall in your school uniform. I don't really like going out in my school uniform. It's uncomfortable. I'd rather go out in my casual clothes and have fun, instead of having to walk around in your school uniform showing that you're from MD.

I'm not saying that it's wrong. I'm just saying that I feel uncomfortable with it. DO NOT GET ME WRONG!!

And somehow my mom got really sick. She's having a fever. 38 point something degrees. She's pretty dramatic over it. Sheesh. I don't get it. She always gets sick. It's annoying cos she'll sulk around the house and act like she's going to die or something. God, it's just a fever and plus mine was higher than hers! It's somehow her fault too for not eating.

She's on this vegetarian diet cos Good Friday's coming up soon and yeah she's gonna force me to attend the mass~ This happens every fucking time, once a year. It's like I have to sit there for an hour! I have to sit there for an hour and try to not fall asleep. The priest gives the same speech and tells the same old story every year. I'm not trying to disrespect it, but can't I just pray at home? Why do I have to go to church? I'm not even CATHOLIC!

I'm a free-thinker. Why can't she get that into her head? I'm not a religious person! I enjoy life! I commit alot of sins. Everyone commits sins! Sheesh and when I make one little mistake she brings up God. I mean like what the hell?! It makes no sense!

Every single thing has to be related to God with her. Church this church that. You'll get punished blah blah blah. Yes I read the Bible already...i knowwww!

She's just so naggy sometimes, but hey, I gotta deal with it somehow right? Cos unless my dad divorces her, she aint goin nowhere. All that nagging and yappin aint going NOWHERE I tell you. Thank god i'll be in Uni in 2 years time. Seems like eternity, but it's worth the wait.

Speaking of eternity...where's the driver...god..here we go again. I g2g peoples. need to scream at him cos he's late hahahaha..ciao bellos

&&I LOVE YOU DUM DUM

~ { 9:50 PM }
reflections of you and me;

Monday, March 10, 2008

moodless tuesday

Ever get the feeling that you just wanna scream and break something? Yeah..that's exactly what I'm feeling now. It started in the morning somehow~ I think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed or something. I went to school all sleepy as usual then things were all ok, til I don't know, something just hit me after recess. I became all moody and frustrated.

I felt like going out to chill out somewhere with the boyfie and some friends, but the boyfie wasn't up for it. So yeah, it kinda pissed me off even more cos I can't really go anywhere with anyone without him. He'll get all paranoid and moody. God knows I hate it when that happens cos it'll last for quite some time and it'll end up with me and him fighting. I hate it when that happens.

So since I couldn't go out, I'm stuck at home now typin up this post. Gah..boring much~ Atleast I can go out abit early today. Later at like 4pm I'm gonna go pick up the boyfie(his driver went back to Indonesia for a month) and we'll go walk around Seri Kiulap for abit then go to my tuition centre and chill there like we always do.

Yesterday night was hell for me. My baby brother woke up all of a sudden at like what..1 in the friggin morning!!!! I got blamed for the stupid maid's mistake! My mom told me that the maid was stupid enough to feed him oranges while he was coughing. He's already coughing badly enough and they just had to come up with smart ideas and feed him oranges.

I couldn't take it anymore and called them upstairs and screamed at one of em over the intercom. The maid said she never gave him any fruits to eat and blah blah blah. But I just screamed every inch of my frustration at her through the intercom. My dad went downstairs..told me to sleep outside cos I had school and thank god I got some sleep after that. Shit, that baby can really cry. He cried for like an hour plus plus! NON-STOPPP!!!

I tried everything, water, milk, medicine even the pacifier and it all didn't work. I mean what the hell am i supposed to give a baby for him to shut up?! Seriously, I do not fucking know. School was hell too just now. Filled with boring lessons and meaningless lectures. Ugh...and we had our first fire drill just now..WOOOOWWWW!!! Say it with me now: WOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! lol That almost sounded like you were really surprised!!! I found it so fake and boring. They had fake smoke from a smoke machine and a fake victim which was one of the teachers. The fire squad was like taking their own sweet time and the hose was leaking like the friggin fountain of youth!

I mean...if that's how they save people and put out a fire in real life, I hope people here in Brunei have insurance cos I wouldn't put too much hope on our fire brigades. Haha. Yesterday we had our school sport's house captain election. For Macdougall, which is my house is Elaine Wong..Boys...erm..i don't really know and congrats to my sis the hippo SHARON CHENG cos she's been elected as the Danson house captain!! Haha. I kinda promised her that I would put her pic up here, but hey...like she said..I'm sooo lazy hahaha. I don't really have the mood to do it now. But yeah, congrats hippo =p

Damn my stupid itunes won't work! It won't even open up..gah..I am in desperate need of music right now to tone down my blood pressure. Music's my only pleasure right now. Feel like screaming out my lungs to some screamo or something~ PARAMORE!!! Hahaha.

newayz i g2g yallz so yeha ciao bello!!!

&&my falsetto

~ { 11:21 PM }
reflections of you and me;

love love love kill kill kill.all

Hey peoples!! Gawd I'm so tired now. I have to call the boyfie in abit. Today was pretty much uneventful~ I went to the boyfie's crib after school just now. He picked me up from school and he kinda taught me driving. Have been learning for like what..3 days? He kinda hates it when I wanna drive cos it scares the shit outta him. Yes..I am that bad of a driver. But hey I just started learning ok!

So I am excused. Don'tchu dare say anything about it either! Haha. Anyways, been having alot of people linking me and commenting about my blog. Thanks for reading though guys! Haha..Apart from the constant drama and psychotic momma, my life's pretty much normal right? Haha..I'm hoping for a yes, but I doubt that I'm gonna get one.

I've gotten back most of my assessment test papers already and I think I failed 4 of my subjects. Sucks. Gawd I hope my mom doesn't kill me and send me off to another tuition cos Azmi's finally going to Flying Colours with me. :( boo hoo~

The only subject which I'm most proud of is my Geo, cos it's the only one I actually really passed. Maybe it's cos most of the things learn in Geo, I've learned already when I was in lower Sec. You know, prehistoric times~ Was it really that long ago? Haha. You know when adults say that when you're young u wish that you were older, but when you really grow into an adult, you would regret ever wishing that and wish that you were still a kid? It's kinda true.

Sometimes I just wish that I could actually be a kid again. Without the responsibilities and shit. To tell you guys the truth, I'm seriously not prepared for Form 5. I can't cope with it. Too much change and responsibilities. I need time to adjust!!! The homeworks are increasing and so is the pressure given to me by alot of people! They're all cheering for me to pass with flying colours, but shit...can they atleast stop giving me the damn pressure! It's killing my mood and it's worrying me alot!

I will pass O levels and I know it!! I just need to really study harder. Need to seriously learn how to balance play and study time. Even if it means channeling some of my attention given to the boyfie to my studies, I'll do it! It's gonna be worth it in the end. Observe: Good results + Parents = CAR, GOOD COLLEGE, FREEDOM AND...ETC!!!!! it's true!!!

I just have to show them that I really studied hard and they'll learn to trust me more..hopefully. I can't just be cooped up at home for the rest of my life~ It aint gonna work for me that way. I'm the type who really loves to go out with friends and be out of the house for some chillax time with the besties.

Besides the whole me failing my assessment thingy, everything's well and fine. Though, I kinda lost my trusty driver. He kinda has to help my dad's company deliver stuff now, so my mom gave me her driver to use for now. He's good and all, and he learns to keep alot of stuff from my mom too, but he's still under my mom's care, so if I need him to bring me anywhere, he'll have to ask my mom first. It's kinda annoying though at times, but hey...it's me...I learn to deal with it and compromise. I don't like moping around about the same ol crap for too long.

The problem's there already so I just have to find a way to turn it all around into a good thing for me. I have a knack for that. Haha. Years and years of training (: Cunning me~*evil laugh*

Hahaha..Anyways, I'm so damn tired...I think I'm just gonna call the boyfie and tell him that I'm really really tired and gotta go to sleep. Nights peoples!! ciao bello..I'll blog again soon..Can't really blog now..too sleepy ahahaha..love yuh readers

&&My guardian angel..i love youh..forever and you can count on it

~ { 4:50 AM }
reflections of you and me;

Saturday, March 01, 2008

Test...stress stress

Ok..I just officially fucked up my Physics and POA test just now. I thought I was safe, but noooo....my brain had to fuck up in the end. I panicked and everything just turned off. Great timing huh? *sarcasm* I was like all ready..I studied for Physics!! And for god's sake why did my brain had to fuck me upppp?!

It was like I lost track of everything I studied! Maybe it was cos I didn't wake up ealry just now in the mornin to go through everything again, but hey I studied til like what..3am? And I was planning to get up at 5am..is that even possible? I knew that if I woke up at 5am I would not even do my test right. So either way I was fucked. So my plan for tomorrow would be to go to tuition..and by 5 plus when I reach home..pull out my bio books and study study!!! I have bio and maths on monday.

Two of my worst subjects. I am sooo excited for monday...wowww.....!!! *kicks* Fucking hell..I cannot fail this test! cos if I do, my mom's gonna change my tuition and she's gonna take away my precious handphone :( MARK MY WORDS...NOONE IS EVER TAKING MY PHONE AWAY FROM ME!!!!!! NOT EVEN HER! AND I DAMN WELL MEAN WHAT I FUCKING SAY!

God I curse too much. It's a habit..but hey..that's me. Take it or leave it, I don't really care lol. Seriously I prefer friends who take me as I am..my good parts and my bad parts too. I don't like hanging around people who make me feel bad about myself. I mean why the hell would I wanna hang around people like that? A little advice for you guys out there:- Do not change for others, but for yourself. Trust me...I've been using that advice for quite some time now and it has worked wonders.

There is no point in changing yourself when you don't really want to and there isn't a damn point in changing yourself just cos someone calls you a loser or whatever. Be yourself...If a certain group of people can't accept you for who you are...ditch em. They aren't worth shit (: I've got this friend..well I'm not gonna reveal names here so I'll just use the letter 'A' to represent her.

Well..'A' was a typical innocent teen who gets cooped up at home and doesn't really know the outside world too well. Let's just say she's not really the socializing type. She loves to just stay at home and you know...lol..stay at home...~~ Typical innocent girl next door. I used to go to tuition with her some time ago. I wasn't close to her, but then I do talk to her occassionally cos we..yeah I can't deny that we didn't really share the same interests in life.

She's into books and studies...I'm into..well just not that. *cringe* In that period of time while she was in the same tuition class as me..I noticed a change in her attitude. At first I just brushed it off, but dayum she changed alot. First, the hair wasn't in a boring old ponytail no more, then came the clothing..then the group of friends. But somehow it was all soo damn fake!!!

I started to hate her..and trust me I still do, but in a way I pity her cos she changed herself into something worse than what she was before. It's like..from innocent to fucked up tacky trailer trash bitch. Drastic change huh? The thing about us humans that I actually noticed is, when you're like 100% good and you actually turn bad with or without the peer pressure, she end up being worse than the bad apples. You geddit? That's why I don't really like seeing all those silly girls who try to act like they're bad or whatnot~

Be yourself..I don't see what' so hard about it. It's better than faking to be somebody else for the rest of your life. Less effort haha. Yesterday afternoon while I was at tuition, I saw this girl who goes to my tuition too. I swear to god, she's like sooo...tacky. I'm not trying to be a bitch here, but seriouslyyyy. I mean she wouldn't have looked so bad if it wasn't for her being a try-hard (wannabe). She was smoking a ciggy when it was sooo obvious that she didn't even know how to smoke!!

The way she held her ciggy, the way she smoked...I mean dude you're supposed to inhale the smoke and not just blow it out straight away. And it took her longer than me to finish a stick! I finished 1 and a half sticks already and she wasn't even done with hers yet. It's like she craves for the attention. I think he actually thinks that smoking will get guys to notice her cos she was like leaning against the wall infront of the front entrance of TAIB Bank!!! My tuition mates and I were like laughing our ass off. One of em called her 'si paus-paus'. Don't know the meaning of that?? Ask your friends. They should know lmao.

God I'm so sleepy now..but I have to wait for the boyfie's text~ Gah...I don't think I can wait any longer...My eyes are like half-shut already. I'll just see him tomorrow and reply his text tomorrow. I'm in serious need of some major shut eye a.k.a SLEEP. Well today's our 10th monthasaryyyy...2 more months til our anniee!! AND I LOVE HIM SOO MUCHHH..MORE THAN EVER! Can't wait to see him tomorrow lol...pfft..I can never wait to see him~~~

Anyways, this is all for today. will blog again tomorrowwww..i'm off to bedd! NIGHTS READERS! ciao bello

&&te adoro dum dum..mi vida..te queiro

~ { 7:46 AM }
reflections of you and me;