Saturday, April 14, 2007

A pain in d ass~

Right~ I haven't been bloggin for some time now~ Don't know why, just isn't in the mood. Well, nothing much has happened in the past few days, but some guy just came into my life. JUST LIKE that! Well I don't wanna be giving out names so Imma just call him 'K'. Well, we met at gadong, sort of through a friend~ He's really hawt! I'm like so addicted to him now. It's like we keep texting each other everyday, asking how both of us are doing and the normal stuff.

He usually offers to call me up cos he knows that it is quite expensive to text him cos he's using B-Mobile. Crappy, yes I know! Pisses me off sometimes. Why can't B-Mobile just give up? Sasax~ Newayzz~ Well, today I texted him up and well, he never replied, so being the majal person that I am, I texted him up again and the reply I got was so depressing~

K: Jessie, I'm in a really really bad mood cos last nite at around 1am one of my friend has just died in an accident and the other one is still unconcious,tats y..I hope you understand.

Gawd at THAT time I felt so idiotic~ I shouldn't have disturbed him. This Tuesday I'm planning to ask him to meet me up at Gadong and go cruising again, but I don't think he can make it as, well~ Duh! One of his friend just passed away! I can imagine the pain he's feeling now. While we were at the beach yesterday (the day his friend passed away) we were talking about how we won't know when we're gonna die and this thing happens! IRONIC!!

Right now I really don't know when's the right time to text him up. I guess I'm just gonna send him a nice good night message and tell him to cheer up cos I really can't stand the thought of him being sad. It makes me sad too cos we can't text and I just miss him a whole lot. When we were at the beach, he told me alot of things about himself and we got to know each other a whole lot better. He said that it was surprising too cos we just met like 3 days ago and we know so much bout each other.

I don't really know at this point, but what I know is, the feelins is coming back again. Something I haven't felt in quite a long time. Yes, Admire-nesh. I don't wanna col it love cos I'm not even sure yet. So I'm just gonna call this feeling Admire-nesh. Love is such a strong word. I've learned from the number of relationships and mistakes I've been through, I've learned that love is really complicated. I don't really wanna get into anything serious for the time being cos, I know that I'm just gonna end up hurting myself in the end.

*sigh* This issue is really starting to stress me out. At this point, I really can't be alone, I need my friends to help me forget this issue. Leave it behind for a moment. Other than this issue, I just fought with my mom. Just cos I asked for her permission to go to my friend's house! All she had to do was just say Yes or No. Instead~ She went on and on about how I never spend time with her and blah blah blah yada yada yada.

She said that I never cared bout my bro and all that. All I have to say is.."AM I A FUCKING BABYSITTER?!" Gawd! Use your brain!!!! She said that if my bro ended up being like my lil cuzzies then she's gonna blame it all on me! Ugh~ I was like how irresponsible can you get?! I'm not even gonna go on about it cos it'll just make me go mental!

*sigh* Someone please take this stress away! I can't take it anymore. It's like I solved all my problems and finally things were going the way they were supposed to be and then all these problems started popping up. Oh well~ I'm getting used to it anyways. It makes life more interesting...right? *bites lip*

&&i wish you loved me~

~ { 5:55 AM }
reflections of you and me;