Saturday, September 06, 2008

Hate changes...

Have you guys ever reached that point of your life where you suddenly feel like your life has just become so boring, yet so complicated? It's like two bad things pinpointing at you all at once. It's scary. I have finally reached this point. How do I know? Well I was on the way to tuition and it just hit me. It's like I usually look forward to the day ahead of me...but when I thought about it in the car just now, the feeling just hit me. I just felt so bored with my life and it's like nothing interesting happens around me anymore.

Last time, everyday used to be like fun and laughter...screaming and destruction sometimes, but all in good fun. Now it's just so...blah~ I don't know what's going on. My tuition place changed all their schedules to the afternoon cos of puasa, school's boring..nothing happens at home..go out..who do I see and what do I get to do? Hang around with my bestie and my boyfriend. Gawd...my life has officially turned plain boring. I admit I do miss my notorious ways at times like this. Yeah, I got hell for it, but it was so much fun. Hectic and messed up, but fun.

I used to have all the freedom I want. I went out with whoever I wanted to at anytime and to anywhere. I got to do and wear whatever I want without any worries. Now...yeah, I have a boyfriend who's as controlling as my dad...worse actually. I don't wanna say this, but sometimes being in a long-term relationship can really drag the fun-ness of life down, but as long as he treasures me and atleast tries to make an effort, I'm sure things will turn around soon. (:

I went to tuition in the afternoon just now at 2pm and I was pretty cranky that time, I don't know why, but I just was. Maybe it was because I wasn't used to the time change. Tuition used to be in the night and I used to have so much fun in the afternoon, without any worries. Now with Azmi's new job and my tuition schedule, it's so hard for me to make time to go out and have fun. It's stupid...I hate this.

And to top it all off, I think I'm gonna get the flu. I've been sneezing so much lately and having stuffed noses all day. I have no idea why the hell everything's turning bad. Maybe it's me..I don't really know. All I know is, I'm just really frustrated with how things are going right now with my life. I have my Malay Oral Exams this Monday..or was it Tuesday..goddamn it!!!! See..even my brain refuses to function!

I'm having such a bad bad day~ By the time I got to Physics tuition just now in the afternoon, I was so frustrated that I actually ended crying in Azmi's arms during break time (thank god my tutor was kind enough to give me 15 minutes break, eventhough I wasn't supposed to have one).

We laughed about it in the end though cos it was kinda funny. The whole scenario consisted of me running to the stairs and just plopped my ass on the floor and cried like a child in distress. I was literally crying out for help. I just couldn't take it anymore. There's just too much shit on my mind that I can't really focus on just one problem and solve it. Everything's just piling up on me. O levels are coming soon and I'm trying not to panic here, but after seeing the results of my mock exam, you can't blame me for being a panic-freak here.

Hell, I do not wanna fail my O's. Get to college and get to Uni. That's it. That's my plan and I'm gonna do it no matter what it takes. I don't care if it means me going ~~suicidal~~ from all the pressure and stress, I'm gonna do it.

God...the boredom...tomorrow's Sunday...tuition in the morning, tuition in the afternoon...yayyy...*sense the sarcasm* God help me...

Anyways...Azmi's calling me again~

I'll blog again tomorrow. ciao bellos.

&&oh the boredom

*NJ*I'm sorry..

~ { 6:47 AM }
reflections of you and me;